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Astro
Member

since 2003-01-08

Posts 69
Ca.

0 posted 2003-11-25 08:28 PM

Deserted Places

A sidewinder slinks along granules of
Coal black sand.
Sea crabs clamp their claws on
Powdery white beaches.
People use to populate these deserted places.

Now, only ghosts of wind-blown dust
Kick up, thirsting
For bone, blood and flesh.
A sign says:
2 miles to the nearest well.
All of the stones removed.

And all of the people have moved
On to the Big City Bright Lights
Where night is no longer black
But a pale, old yellow
And fluorescents make
White teeth green.

Here, the birds have rotors for flight,
The lions, motors for fright
And the trees are made of brick and mortar.

The stars that shine down have been removed
Improved upon with spotlights
That search the yellow sky.
The separation of Jungle and Forest, River and Beach
Have evolved into Uptown and Downtown, West and East
And lines that were drawn once more clear
Now hide like fugitives in the rear.

I tried to submit this to poetry.com but they only allow 20 lines for your poems. Ridiculous! How can poetry be confined?!

Sight is an always awful beginning

cynicsRus
Senior Member

since 2003-06-06

Posts 591
So Cal So Cool!

1 posted 2003-11-26 08:58 AM

quote:
I tried to submit this to poetry.com but they only allow 20 lines for your poems. Ridiculous! How can poetry be confined?!

Doesn't matter; you could send them a two line poem and still be "A Finalist!"

If you don't wish to be a recipient of their countless offers by mail, from here to the next century, I suggest you not enter any of their “contests”.

Sid @ www.cynicsRus.com
www.primerhymeetc.com

Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

2 posted 2003-11-26 10:30 AM

Hey Astro, what Sid said. Poetry.com is a good place to piss away some of your hard-earned money. Other than that, I don't think they have much to offer.

And you truly could trim out any lines at random to get this down to their maximum and still be a winner.

Pete

Never express yourself more clearly than you can think - Niels Bohr

Astro
Member

since 2003-01-08

Posts 69
Ca.

3 posted 2003-11-26 11:46 AM

True 'dat. They keep sending me ads to buy their book. I think the whole contest is a scam; the winners are really the web designers in costumes. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read my poem.

Sight is an always awful beginning

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