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Critical Analysis #2
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a world of shadows
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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a world of shadows |
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a deer in lifes headlites Junior Member
since 2003-06-04
Posts 23 |
I've all ready posted this incouple of others I know the moderaters don't like it, but i've had no useful criticism(if any), so I was hoping for some here. Thank you. I live in a world of shadows, a world of eternal darkness. A world where times only meaning, is the count down of seconds left in life. A world where death is enevitable, and life is expendable. Where hate is eternal, and love is not known. I live in a world of shadows. |
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| © Copyright 2003 steve larry - All Rights Reserved | |||
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tecoyah Member
since 2003-11-16
Posts 83NY |
dark and descriptive, I would be more careful in grammar, and possibly attempt to do away with some of the repeat of "a world". maybe, a land, or place. thanx for sharing, I liked the work |
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drummerboy678 Member
since 2003-10-28
Posts 134 |
First off, I like your user name. Second, I hope you dont view life completely like that. There is a lot of good out there  But I think we all have some poems like this.Thirdly, the poem itself. I agree with the other comment. I know your going for the repetition of 'world', but because it isn't continued throughout the poem, I dont think it works. The whole poem is really dark, but still well written, not just pissed off words. Nicely done. Oh, and it's spelled "inevitable." Good job (See the movie "Fight Club" if you havn't. The poem reminds me of it). |
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kadafi09 Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 143California, United States |
i love your poem. it reminds me of Nietzsche. probably because we've been covering him recently in my philosophy class. as others have noted, aside from the errors, it's a cool poem. |
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