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Written While Washing the Sheets (w.t.)
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Written While Washing the Sheets (w.t.) |
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eulalie New Member
since 2003-11-16
Posts 8 |
Old loves revisit me when clear yellow strands from different hell darkened nadirs gossip about a drunk evenings sorrow, and dance off the stench of sweat, sex, and beer. The principal champagne color’d tuft taunts a hundred angry, semi-curly, browns from my ever balding head, and détentes, “I’m glad my sisters won’t be see’n ya’roun’.” With a click the machine begins to spin, Causing blank (memory-less) nights zoom, non-stop, towards the same sewage plant bin to meet with wasted dreams from other rooms Clean sheets now await the quenching chaos of nightly quests to wrought another loss. |
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| © Copyright 2003 eulalie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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eulalie New Member
since 2003-11-16
Posts 8 |
sorry this is the copy that was prerevisions. Here is the current copy. Old loves revisit me when clear yellow hairs from different hell darkened nadirs gossip about a drunk evenings sorrow, and dance off the stench of sweat, sex, and beer. The principal champagne color’d tuft taunts a hundred angry, semi-curly, browns from my ever balding head, and détentes, “I’m glad my sisters won’t be see’n ya’roun’.” With a click the machine begins to spin, and lost hairs from past love affairs zoom, non-stop, towards the same sewage plant bin to meet the wasted dreams from other rooms. Clean sheets now await the quenching chaos of nightly quests, that wrought another loss. |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Eulalie, Interesting Sonnet  May it do with "hair" in line ten; you may then have "zooms" to the perfect with "rooms". I thought it was well expressed for the most part; goodly done. Essorant [This message has been edited by Essorant (11-18-2003 09:02 PM).] |
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