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Breath
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Breath |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Thro' life and death An angel's Breath |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
thro' doesn't say through to me Ess...it says 'throw' in a cockney english kinda way  Of course that's just me.. Now, the poem - to me, it says that there are angels through every stage of our lives, only in a shorter sentence. I find it overly sentimental - that's just me though - again. I'm curious - what's the meaning for the thro' and the italics? Anything in particular behind those? As to suggestions - well, I really would lose the italicised 'breath'. Italics often read forced in poetry. In this piece it looks like you're trying to be poetic and thought - I know, I'll make the last word super-special... I have found that minimalist poems need to be tight - this is very minimalist indeed lol. Perhaps not quite tight enough though.. Cheers,  K |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Hello Severn Thank you for commenting. "Thro" is a contraction of "through." There was no "need" for it. I just thought it kept in agreement with the fastness or compactness of it. Nor are the italics needful. But methought they visibly look like "motion" or like a wind/breath is blowing the letters to the right which I thought gave a relevent character and ending touch. Did you note I didn't put a period after "Breath" That was on purpose too |
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