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Critical Analysis #2

Artwork

warmhrt
Senior Member

since 1999-12-18

Posts 1563

0 posted 2003-09-22 07:17 PM

Coarse and rough,
his hands played
on the skin of her back;

she pictured him welding,
then bending the steel till
it surrendered to the curve,
an artwork in progress.

His hands massaged her spine,
her back arched delicately,
in longing to be another
of his one of a kinds.

"It is wisdom to know others;
It is enlightenment to know one's self" - Lao Tzu

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2003-09-22 08:00 PM

YES! I like this, and understand the desire to be sculpted...a unique and enjoyable write.

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

2 posted 2003-09-23 03:39 AM

Maybe add some hyphens for one-of-a-kinds but I quite enjoyed it.

Nicely done.

warmhrt
Senior Member

since 1999-12-18

Posts 1563

3 posted 2003-09-23 09:48 AM

MidniteSun,

Thanks so much for the kind words. Your interpretation is not exactly what my intention was as I wrote this, but each reader is entitled to his own.

Brad,

I thank you both for your positive comments, and, yes, I do agree...hyphens do belong in "one-of-a-kinds".

Thanks much,

Kris

"It is wisdom to know others;
It is enlightenment to know one's self" - Lao Tzu

[This message has been edited by warmhrt (09-23-2003 08:33 PM).]

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