Kitchen Porter Blues - pipTalk Forums

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Critical Analysis #2

Kitchen Porter Blues

RibenaboyUK
New Member

since 2003-08-06

Posts 4

0 posted 2003-08-06 11:44 AM

Am I too tall for this house,
or am I,
perhaps,
Too small.

This house used to be our home,
the foam in the mattress upon which we lay together
like the shade lies with the sun.
It used to be our sanctuary, soft and tender were we,
back then.

how sweet were your sounds, the pottering,
the moving, the eternals truths.
and I for once knew where I was, even why I was and loaded with this bolt of comprehension
I looked away for a second.

When I looked back I could taste the fuel.
I could hear the roar and shook with the turbelance.
You touched down and screamed that you loved me.
But I couldn't hear.
Did you hear me?
Screaming.
I love you.

No.
You saw my face in the kitchen porter,
and you never came back.

warmhrt
Senior Member

since 1999-12-18

Posts 1563

1 posted 2003-08-06 12:47 PM

Hi,

I really liked this...the first stanza implying how you no longer feel you fit...and ,despite the spelling error in the fourth stanza, I think this is one of the best I've seen here in a while.

Kris

"It is wisdom to know others;
It is enlightenment to know one's self" - Lao Tzu

RibenaboyUK
New Member

since 2003-08-06

Posts 4

2 posted 2003-08-07 08:45 AM

Thanks Kris, certainly cheered me up a bit. I had a feeling I'd made that spelling mistake, more attention to detail perhaps! This is the first time I've ever put a poem on display -so to speak- so I was worried about getting a slating.

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