Critical Analysis #2 |
Marriage |
Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
It is Man tends the soil: it is Woman mends the soul. |
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© Copyright 2003 Essorant - All Rights Reserved | |||
hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
Why not get rid of the 'it is' part? 'Man tends the soil: Woman mends the soul.' Is there a specific syllable count here? If so, I'd consider something different- the 'it is' just seemed like filler. Hope I've helped. |
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Stephanos
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618Statesboro, GA, USA |
I agree with Hush. Man tends the soil: Woman mends the soul This is concise and beautiful. I see a feminine / masculine interaction that's really beautiful here. Soil is like the womb, representing womanhood. The "tender of the soil" suggests the sower of seed, representing manhood. In the mending of the soul, I see a unity, cooperation, and mutual need between husband and wife that blesses all. Stephen. |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Hush & Stephen, I think that does much much better without the "it is". I could feel something a bit amiss but wasn't sure. Thank you both for taking the time look in and comment. Take care, Essorant [This message has been edited by Essorant (08-05-2003 11:26 PM).] |
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