Critical Analysis #2 |
unknown crying |
corey14 Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 89Boston, Mass, U.S.A. |
I dont know why, but I just do. Just want to cry, and I just dont know why. |
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© Copyright 2002 corey baker - All Rights Reserved | |||
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
My crit: you need to do more with this. This doesn't say anything as it is. This is like a brush stroke on a huge white canvas...fill it in... K [This message has been edited by Severn (04-09-2002 10:44 PM).] |
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NapalmsConstantlyConfused
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529 |
that, or turn it into a haiku.... -Dave |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Technically, Haiku's require imagery, so you would still only be left with a poetic skeleton.. K |
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