Critical Analysis #2 |
If I Should Die (Dedicated to Marc-Vivien Foe) |
kadafi09 Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 143California, United States |
If I should die, let me die doing what I loved. Let it be known I have no regrets, I lived and I played. Everyday of my life I gave it my all, my heart and soul in every match. The only thing that I regret, is not finishing the final match. Still, let the game remember me. Let it be known, footballer I was, footballer I'll be. |
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© Copyright 2003 Jorge Vega - All Rights Reserved | |||
Ladybug Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 236Massachusetts |
Hey Kada, I really like this. The only suggestion I have is that you repeat "match" too closely. I think you could remove it from L6, and it wouldn't change the meaning: "Everyday of my life I gave it my all, my heart and soul. The only thing that I regret, is not finishing the final match." -->This makes the "final match" stand out even stronger. Good job on this one! Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end... |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
I agree with Ladybug about the repetition of match as well as her suggestion to correct it. This is well constructed. Although I am not familiar with the underlying story (I assume there is a life story behind it), it still is quite interesting. Pete [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (07-07-2003 10:16 PM).] |
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kadafi09 Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 143California, United States |
this poem is dedicated to Marc-Vivien Foe, a soccer player from Cameroon who died on the soccer field, playing for his country's team, since I am a soccer player myself, it meant something |
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MsSouthernOrchid Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 192 |
I like the meaning behind this. It's very good. |
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