Critical Analysis #2 |
Her and I |
B3jamboree Junior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 33Michigan |
Her and I Her perfume made me serene But now that's all just a dream Can't a man dream? I'm just bursting at the seams With dreams I'v seen the losers and the thievs The fiends I'v dreamed their dreams I'v opened up their windows and blown smoke out their screens It's all part of me And thats not what she Visions as we So it can never be I can write you poetry that'll make a strong man lose his mind: |
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© Copyright 2003 Christopher G Williams - All Rights Reserved | |||
cynicsRus Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591So Cal So Cool! |
When I first began writing poetry, I didn't understand what critics meant when they'd tell me that my rhyme was forced, my metaphors were cliche' and my meter was non existent. As I kept writing, it began to make sense in my mind. I look back at some of my first attempts now and am totally embarrassed. I suggest you file this one away, until the day when you look back in an epiphany of sorts and say to yourself: "Gee, it all makes sense to me now." I hope that day is not long in coming. Sid |
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B3jamboree Junior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 33Michigan |
I appreciate your honesty. I didn't follow a pattern in that one, I just personaly really liked it. I have a real rhyme sceem for the one I posted up there ^ |
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