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Critical Analysis #2
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B3jamboree
Junior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 33
Michigan

0 posted 2003-06-26 09:46 PM



Her and I

Her perfume made me serene
But now that's all just a dream
Can't a man dream?
I'm just bursting at the seams
With dreams
I'v seen the losers and the thievs
The fiends
I'v dreamed their dreams
I'v opened up their windows and blown smoke out their screens
It's all part of me
And thats not what she
Visions as we
So it can never be

I can write you poetry that'll make a strong man lose his mind:
I ain't no pig
Without a wig
I hope you treat me kind
-Bob Dylan

© Copyright 2003 Christopher G Williams - All Rights Reserved
cynicsRus
Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591
So Cal So Cool!
1 posted 2003-06-26 10:02 PM


When I first began writing poetry, I didn't understand what critics meant when they'd tell me that my rhyme was forced, my metaphors were cliche' and my meter was non existent. As I kept writing, it began to make sense in my mind. I look back at some of my first attempts now and am totally embarrassed.

I suggest you file this one away, until the day when you look back in an epiphany of sorts and say to yourself: "Gee, it all makes sense to me now."
I hope that day is not long in coming.

Sid

B3jamboree
Junior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 33
Michigan
2 posted 2003-06-26 10:18 PM


I appreciate your honesty. I didn't follow a pattern in that one, I just personaly really liked it. I have a real rhyme sceem for the one I posted up there ^
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