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PainNan Help
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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PainNan Help |
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Foxyoasis Senior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 974Atlantic Beach,Fla 
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i was referred to you to help me with my sonnet. i know ive done it wrong. and need you to help me  a forum member told me you were amazing so im in your hands...It grows on me like a weed its stems onto me like it lives with me i cast it aside and let it leave me alone still it comes and i engage with it everyday no escaping... but without it i couldent live,without it i wouldent be who i am today it teaches me a lesson i rather not see,but in the end i praise it and welcome it towards me i don't let it own my life,i go on strong and stronger even when it puts its ulgy head upon me. i am in control of it,i choose to embrace it and think of it as a gift that is given to me. to be truly special and become what i am to be what i choose,to see the stars shine bright i think I use it i don't let it use me. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Julie O'Neill - All Rights Reserved | |||
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kadafi09 Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 143California, United States |
nice job. i liked your poem. |
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~DreamChild~ Senior Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 544in your dreams |
drugs? Freedom is the dream of sleeping reality |
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cynicsRus Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591So Cal So Cool! |
If you wish to learn to write sonnets, you first have to know and understand the definition: SONNET A fixed form consisting of fourteen lines of five-foot iambic verse. In the English or Shakespearean sonnet, the lines are grouped in three quatrains (with six alternating rhymes) followed by a detached rhymed couplet which is usually epigrammatic. In the original Italian form, such as Longfellow's " Divina Commedia," the fourteen lines are divided into an octave of two rhyme-sounds arranged abba abba and a sestet of two additional rhyme sounds which may be variously arranged. This latter form tends to divide the thought into two opposing or complementary phases of the same idea. Sidelight: A variant of the Shakespearean form is the Spenserian sonnet which links the quatrains with a chain or interlocked rhyme scheme, abab bcbc cdcd ee. This was copied from Bob's Byway. A great poetic reference tool. Here's the link: http://www.poeticbyway.com/glossary.html If you desire to write sonnets, you should first study those of the master--Shakespeare. If I were you though, I'd work first on nailing down the meter; in this case, iambic pentameter. It's great that you are so open to critiques. That's the best way to learn. Keep writing. Wishing you well, Sid [This message has been edited by cynicsRus (06-20-2003 09:36 PM).] |
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Foxyoasis Senior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 974Atlantic Beach,Fla |
not drugs its about crohns diease but now my poems are more about drugs anymore doctors hook you to this stuff i got a tolerance to opuims now. |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
Edit grammar and spelling before posting in a critical analysis forum. Consider counting syllables, I do not know what kind of sonnet you were going for. Nor can I hope to tell. This is too wordy, edit out un-needed words. Expand the vocabulary, shorten the lines. Make it concise and interesting. After an edit and repost, I will reply with a truly constructive critique. Valedictions, -Paul |
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18 Junior Member
since 2007-03-28
Posts 25 |
ok abstract defines this poem. so does wonderful ok but i got to know what IT is. tell me |
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