ok, I'm ready...and don't use vaseline

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Critical Analysis #2

ok, I'm ready...and don't use vaseline

machiner
Member

since 2003-03-13

Posts 67
MA, US

0 posted 2003-03-22 02:32 PM

So I wrote this in a fury today (and posted it to open poetry #25) and I post it here for the tearing.

You'll probably figure out what is happening...and it's not pretty.
But we must all own up.

Self-reflection of a General
sitting next to myself
is reason enough
for creeping fear --
bile-like and stinking,
swatting at me
glowing, crying on my ear.
Tormented -
as Poe, I have my beguiled conscience
truth-telling
reminding
full of thorny lies I have forgot.
Lies that were truth
when I was taught.

I thought I was beautiful --
revulsion looms up!
"Keep those horrors to yourself,
nasty little man"
comes a dead scream
horrified by itself.
Forgetting to ask permission.

Forests burn and grow anew
men swathed tight in
shiny accoutraments
purport slipshod sinewey crawling glory.
It is for a purpose and I am rewarded!
Crying again as I reflect,
next to me on this bench of none bless'd.

There! reeking fresh
is the death's heart lonley fetish
club of flesh.
The waiting line is deep
but none shall keep
those like me
waiting.

machiner

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

1 posted 2003-03-24 12:35 PM

(big hugggssssssss) She's right, we must keep these horrors to itself as if we dwell too much in that darker realm, we miss out on so much and can't even distinguish the lies and the truths then! (sad sigh) This is powerful, dearest friend, you have my vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

carol
Senior Member

since 2003-01-25

Posts 624
Florida USA

2 posted 2003-04-13 11:11 PM

very good

Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become
Lots of Love
Rita

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