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Critical Analysis #2

Graphemes

Kirk T Walker
Member

since 2000-01-13

Posts 357
Liberty, MO

0 posted 2002-03-04 11:14 AM

Graphemes
by Kirk T Walker

graphemes start stalking
through the tall grassy marshes
as I write quickly

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

1 posted 2002-03-05 05:36 PM

I laughed at this -- those evil graphemes mess everything up, don't they? Of course, that also creates the opportunity for something different but that's a different story.

I wonder if it might have more impact if you rewrote it without relying on the strick haiku structure?

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

2 posted 2002-03-06 03:08 PM

agreed... though sometimes simplistic is better (re: brad's mention of minimalist in another, older post)soemtimes it doesn't do justice to a potentially good idea.

expand, 'cause like brad - i laughed.

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member

since 2000-10-13

Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods

3 posted 2002-08-06 05:59 AM

library.

caterina
Member

since 2002-07-25

Posts 188
Canada

4 posted 2002-08-06 01:16 PM

Good stuff. Like that word... graphemes! Just wondering though, perhaps there is some way to make that last line a little stronger? I have no suggestions at the moment but I will think on it.

Thanks for the read.

caterina

Kirk T Walker
Member

since 2000-01-13

Posts 357
Liberty, MO

5 posted 2002-08-06 05:18 PM

Thanks for everybody for the comments and thanks to Caterina for digging around in the old posts!

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