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Critical Analysis #2
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sonnet revision
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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sonnet revision |
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jenn21e Junior Member
since 2003-02-11
Posts 10 |
Revised edition...better? in need of more major revisions? what do you think? Twenty-four Behind the door awaits a dawning morn soft pinks creep out across cool fainting night and with the dawn’s brisk entry, our love is torn. though the night is gone, I glimpse a new star-light. Slim feet set out to find the one who waits as thoughts flow by like water down a mill. So weary, heavy feet are my dead-weight I sink down low upon a window sill. The sun’s sharp blades have battered me to pieces without caress of night the search is shriveled, brown-dry. Daylight’s scorching reds assail tender flesh, pain increases then night’s return; is there any aloe nearby? And what of his return, will he come? And me, will I yet again succumb? |
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