The Merry Man (PLEASE CRITIQUE!!!)

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Critical Analysis #2

The Merry Man (PLEASE CRITIQUE!!!)

Teen14
Junior Member

since 2003-01-26

Posts 19

0 posted 2003-02-19 06:46 PM

He wanders down his merry street
Looking at all there is to see
The homes
The love
Oh how he loves it all
The richest man alive.
A spring in his step
A smile to every pet
There he is
The merry man.
His home is a mansion
Without any fashion
Just a little corner
Right by the street.
He's humble
He's kind
Spreading joy to every little girl and boy.
He has no toys
But has the joy
Of a thousand little girls and boys.
When the sun rises
So does he
When the sun sets
Never does he.
He doesn't ask a single task
Of anyone he meets
He just says "Hello!" to all on the passing street.
His riches are great
His money is fade
Just as his clothes.
The high life is his
The low life is theirs
To all who ignore the merry man
Walking down the street.

Poetic_angel
Junior Member

since 2003-03-02

Posts 10

1 posted 2003-03-04 07:57 PM

You know where it says :"When the sun rises
So does he
When the sun sets
Never does he"
Well it just seems kind of displaced and wrong.It doesn't fit with the poem.It ruins the beat of it.But other than that this poem was well written and a very good piece!

Teen14
Junior Member

since 2003-01-26

Posts 19

2 posted 2003-03-06 05:53 PM

Yeah! It doesn't really fit well. Thank You! Any other suggestions?

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