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Critical Analysis #2
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Say Grace
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Say Grace |
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smilinmike New Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 5 |
SAY GRACE Somewhere between hope and destiny I saw a glimpse of what lay Inside the rest of me I was clear Clean as a tear Walked with a goddess near I ate seasons When stars were lined up for specific reasons For breakfast And it was magnificant In the late afternoon I saw a lady bug in the place of a rune The world was beautiful A crystal Its surface a womb And it was doomed When all it needs to do Is change the tune Vibration Collaboration Network the world Nation by nation Showing love Empathy and patience Give away what I need to be free And face what can lay In a days grace |
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| © Copyright 2003 smilinmike - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
When all it needs to do Is change the tune What a terrific eye opening poem and I hope with my vote it goes up to the top so others can read your work. I enjoyed this. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I enjoy how this one gets images spinning in your head, and the resolution to them. You didn't pick a good forum to get your poem voted in -- most people are using the Reflections forum for that purpose. Still, here's my vote. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
smilinmike~ I really like this...enjoyed the ride it took my mind on. Wonderfully done.  ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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GoldenIllusions111 Junior Member
since 2003-02-25
Posts 18 |
I really enjoyed the original style and images here. imo the poem should have ended with the word womb, after that it seemed another thought another poem, before that it started as so very original sort of sensual and erotic.....just my opinion either way good write! Golden* |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Sometimes you toss your rhymes with abandon, but you bring it to a controlled close. Look forward to seeing more from you. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) I just love the grace that fills this, sweet friend, let your spirit be free and sing for the day! (big hugggssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, this is wonderful, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I don't know if you meant to do this but as I read it, I thought of rap songs...I enjoyed the rhythm of your poem. I also look forward to reading more from you!  |
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Alicethruglass Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 368 |
"Network the world Nation by nation Showing love Empathy and patience Give away what I need to be free" a very compassionate poem...and I really enjoyed the subtleness of rhyme |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
I ate seasons When stars were lined up for specific reasons For breakfast And it was magnificant In the late afternoon I saw a lady bug in the place of a rune The world was beautiful Yes, I love the write of this! |
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SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
Yes, I concur with WhiteRose. SG |
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