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Critical Analysis #2
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seven possible realities
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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seven possible realities |
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smilinmike New Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 5 |
SEVEN POSSIBLE REALITIES Exasperated breath Falls free for the rest of my death Small Anonymous pieces of my being See seven possible realities Lying as their leaving Grieving Believing The sold sorcerous stands in the wake The men in black in the back On the take Whatever it was I'll take two and the cake My love lies lost Waiting Hating At the bottom of the lake Hide that good from the hate For the goodness of the sake Unseen wizards cast belligerant spells Keep that tic from the toc The door from the knock Until when time tells Dwells At the bottom of the well Close your eyes For the rest of your breath Menagerie of minatures In the middle of my death Tiny characters Challenging Constant barriers Manufactured Myriad of realities Toxic and tenacious Personal totalities Where did thee go? When did she know? The wind then the snow Flow Like the creek Slow like the sweet From my hands to my feet I see it Be it Believe it Those seven possible realities Screaming of finalities Lying Lurking Cowering behind the curtain Kneeling Dreaming Laughing at my fiending Clouds cast shadows on my side of the river Seven months and a day Until the minute I deliver One Single Expression of a shiver A quiver Old Proud Gary oak's in my throat Deepen tones of the last poem wrote Seven was the number I said Slightly shy From the sanctity of bed Seven realities Messing with my head I would trade them all For just one I can understand |
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| © Copyright 2003 smilinmike - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hi Mike, Welcome to CA. Please check the guidelines. This is a fairly slow moving forum. And it works by everyone participating in actively critiquing poetry. Sometimes one doesn't get complimentary comments. But that is just the nature of critical analysis. In any event, you will find that you have generally better success if you submit only one poem at a time. With multiple submissions, it just seems to overload or saturate the forum. The result is that none of them get the attention they may deserve and likely would have received if submitted alone. Pete |
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CHILI Member
since 2002-09-08
Posts 244 |
Greetings Mike, and welcome to the site. I found your poem to be very original. I particularly like the colorful way that you have with your comparisons in this piece. Thanks for sharing. "rainbow" |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) I think in each moment we may see a whole different number of realities, sometimes only one when we give all our heart away, sometimes even dozens at a time! (sigh) This is marvelous, sweet friend, you have my vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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carol Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624Florida USA |
 Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Interesting write.... Bridgette  "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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