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Critical Analysis #2
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Hope
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Hope |
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Epicrean Junior Member
since 2002-11-17
Posts 16 |
Hope Hope is a fragile gift Granted in the confines Of a single glass wish Deep within, in which Dreams linger and stray Epic |
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| © Copyright 2002 Epicrean - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Epic, those who give, receive. This forum works because everyone shares the responsibility of critiqing. You could coment more on others' work. Give a little advice here and there to get more response to yours. Thanks, Pete |
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Radrook Senior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 648 |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi, Welcome to CA. It's nice that you participate. I have some advice in reference to your poem. Please check your email. God bless! Radrook |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hi Radrook, If you have some advice, how about sharing it in here? After all, critique and advice is the purpose of this forum. Taking it outside pretty well defeats that putpose. Thanks, Pete |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Hope Hope is a fragile gift Granted in the confines Of a single glass wish Deep within, in which Dreams linger and stray I'm certainly no expert... but struggle with the word stray used in context with the idea of the rest of the poem. While the idea seems to be one of creating the image of hope by using a single glass wish... I find no real image is forthcoming. it is left to vague in my mind and followed by a line that says deep within, in which... that is not only akward to me but seems redundant and not needed. Perhaps a fine tuning of the image and a bit more clarity in the idea are in order. I would love to see what you come up with if you decide to edit it.. |
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Epicrean Junior Member
since 2002-11-17
Posts 16 |
I'm certainly no expert... but struggle with the word stray used in context with the idea of the rest of the poem. While the idea seems to be one of creating the image of hope by using a single glass wish... I find no real image is forthcoming. it is left to vague in my mind and followed by a line that says deep within, in which... that is not only akward to me but seems redundant and not needed. Perhaps a fine tuning of the image and a bit more clarity in the idea are in order. I would love to see what you come up with if you decide to edit it.. I appreciate your response... The poem is or was suppose to express how fragile hope is and how you can lose it in a mere second. Thus the length and how quick it reads. The only image I wanted to convey was a glass wish as it in my opinion conveys the faility perfectly!!! I will re-write another version and test it out!!! thanks |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I figured that was the idea you were expressing and without meaning to sound harsh or rude..could take that from the piece, but didn't find anything fresh in the idea to grab me. I do think glass is used all too often ( including by myself) as an image of fragility...and if you are going to use it and to have an impact..then the type of glass..or somthing about the glass needs to grab me and say."Oh..yeah..never looked at it that way".... I have no problem with quick reads..and or with short pieces. Sometime it takes only a few words to grab the reader... I'd recommend going into the open forum and looking for Mark V Sheldon's works..his 20 or less series is a good example of how a few words can convey a great deal... or look up Duncan, or Wranx in the same forum. They have both done some excellent short works that may give you an idea or two. |
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