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Slipping Away
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Slipping Away |
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Kristine Member
since 2002-10-30
Posts 92Mahal Kita!!! 
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I feel you slipping away from me like sand in my hands Slowly trickles through my fingers Until suddenly painfully, desperately I close my hands to hold on to some of it but most of it already spilled. My heart now Emptied. Finished Gone. And the rest of me Loose, torn free Tried and frightened Crying, fading Wondering WHY You can’t Love ME. Sometimes Love is like awkward poetry, the words may not be just right but when love comes freely from the heart the message sings! [This message has been edited by Kristine (11-19-2002 01:52 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Kristine - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Kristine, I feel that this could have ended with the "why", but in lower case. Enjoyed it as it is though. I just don't think it needs the end that you've written. Ed |
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