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Critical Analysis #2
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Concious
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Concious |
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Monk Frost I! Member
since 2008-06-15
Posts 80 |
Concious are the very rich of plight For they alone disperse it Among those who care naught Except for their own lot |
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| © Copyright 2009 Terry Ridener - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stacylynn418 Junior Member
since 2009-03-06
Posts 40new york |
i read a few of your poems. i love how in such a few lines, you are always able to communicate any idea perfectly. they are all very well written, i like this one a lot. keep it up |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
quote: I'd clean up your meter a bit. I do have a question. Are we to assume that "it" is money? Also, what are you striving for with the brevity of your poetry? Take care. Alison |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
At your age you should continue writing for it will get easier. |
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turtle Senior Member
since 2009-01-23
Posts 548Harbor |
kid - If you won't talk to people how are you gonna learn to improve your writing? If you use your email account and paste this poem into a message box you can hit "spell check" and discover misspelled words like "conscious" and if you wanted to express your understanding Of the minds awareness it would be more syntatically correct to say: "Conscious is the richest of plights" |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
quote: Perhaps that isn't the goal Turtle. It may of course be perfect. Or perhaps he is simply trying to drop these pithy pearls on the barren beaches of the collective consciousness that makes up what we call the web in an effort to leaven the aridity with the waters of wisdom. Or something. |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Monk, you wrote 10 poems with five replies, six in a row with no replies. Why won’t you let us talk to You ? |
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turtle Senior Member
since 2009-01-23
Posts 548Harbor |
"or something"  moonbeam you and I agree. |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Stacylynn418, you and I agree, not sure about Alison . |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Chopsticks, If you are asking if I agree that this "poetry" is good, I'll respond that I do not. I think each piece that I have read is (what is that word my sister loves so much -- thinks) .. I think it is drivel. Also, I think that MonkFrost ! does not really care what we think. Alison |
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turtle Senior Member
since 2009-01-23
Posts 548Harbor |
Alright Alison! Glad to see you doing some honest critiques...lol Drivel is a spitball that's hard to dribble....heh Not up to me guys, but maybe it would be better to move the discussion here: /pip/Forum28/HTML/002434.html  [This message has been edited by turtle (03-09-2009 02:17 AM).] |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
No Alison I wasn’t asking you if you thought his poetry was drivel. I was asking if we don’t talk to Monk why should Monk talk to us’ Btw, to use the D word, that you heard from your sister ,about Monk’s poetry, is to say the least ..... Turtle, you are right it is not up to you . |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Chopsticks, Don't make me guess what you mean. I don't play the game well. If you want to discuss this further with me, feel free to drop me a line. As far as moving the post, why bother? We are spitting in the wind. A |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
quote: Nope, his tally is: 48 posts 46 "poems" 1 coherent but patronising and misleading reply. 1 hidden (from me) reply This is either a carpet bombing bot, or a kid with a pocket full of silly epigram magnets, treating PiP as the fridge door. Pretty soon the bot will run out of juice or get zapped by Darth Vader, or the corner store will run out of magnets hopefully . |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
“ 1 hidden (from me) reply ” You are right Beamer and there are a couple hidden from me. Why do you and the shell call him a kid ? I would think more along the lines of a disgruntled retired sailor living out his golden years at Snug Harbor. It don’t bother me at all if he post a few on the ice box door. I don’t think it is sick humor. It has been said many times before ~ He has a right to be here ~ Alison, I am positive he cares what we think . |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
chopsticks, For sake of conversation and out of total curiousity, what makes you positive? Maybe he does, but why not respond to any of the CA or comments in other sections. Is he posting for the joy of posting? Is he enjoying getting a rise out of people? Does he think his work should generate one-sided conversation? I am not meaning to pick on the man, but it is odd to post here and then remain totally quiet to any thoughts that are shared about his work. Isn't it? So what makes you positive? Consider the question respect for your opinion only. As we may be going off subject, I again invite you to respond to me privately through my email. Just click the little envelope icon under my response if you so choose. Thank you, chopsticks. Alison |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
“Does he think his work should generate one-sided conversation?” I think I have answered that already. Six in a row without a reply and when we do reply it is to show off our stuff.. What makes me positive that he cares what we think.? It is part of the human make up to care what we think, even in a negative way. But, as the poet says, if you have to ask, you may never know. |
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Grinch Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929Whoville |
I enjoyed this. . |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
And I enjoyed your contribution Grinch  |
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