Critical Analysis #2 |
Lies |
Monk Frost I! Member
since 2008-06-15
Posts 80 |
Nothing will change until we realize We are the body that lies |
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© Copyright 2009 Terry Ridener - All Rights Reserved | |||
Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
A little work on meter and syllables may make it flow much better: Nothing will change until we see The body lying here is we. |
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pontyjim Junior Member
since 2009-03-06
Posts 40Ontario, Canada |
I agree, it just has a slight rythmic stumble. Other than that, quite clever. |
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