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Critical Analysis #2
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Fresh Fields Bakery.
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Fresh Fields Bakery. |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. 
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you smiled a little too heavily for this particular situation but it never weighed us down I laughed with you and you laughed at me because you make me a little funnier than I usually tend to be you ladled a little extra happiness and a pinch of sex into my people soup I thanked you politely, handed you your iced tea, and sat down next to you. Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand. |
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| © Copyright 2008 Paul Weisbrod - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I know this is here for critiquing but I just wanted to tell you I really enjoyed the meeting. It reminded me of someone.  M |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
Fanks.  Glad it reminded you of someone, like it does for me.Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
This is a charming little piece. My only criticism would be that it is a little too little. Are you sure that the minimalism approach is the best route here. I'm not. quote: This seems out of place. Perhaps another poem in the making? |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
Yeah I reckon so. That's why i put it in this forum! Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand. |
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