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Critical Analysis #2
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Taylor See
Member
since 2008-10-07
Posts 55
North Carolina, US

0 posted 2008-10-15 02:56 PM


Hello, sort of new to posting here. Just found these forums so still browsing around. I'm 16 so my poems vary from good to bad. Please let me know what you honestly think, and thanks for reading!

Innocent Nights & Fiery Fugitives

In innocence they enter

Cross the crumbled and cracked creation
Boundaries born, blockades for breaking
Slide into the silver-scape that stretches on
And know the night is not nearly gone

Time ticks trimly, tocking, talking the truth
Sun slips silently across this slumbering, star-strewn space
Gasping at the greener grass as the gentle grasp of morning grows
Watching as warm waves of light weave with widespread sky
Always amazed, an awe of living, an answerless asking of why

Fire flares across the fringe of the fields, a few final free moments
Two melted mouths make merry mischief
Bare bodies bend and break apart, bid the burning bond abate
Farewelling, the fugitives flee the field
To meet once more by the merciful moonlight
Of a new night not knowing of the innocence ending

On furtive feet they go


And as each player moves their piece, confident and tall
They forget that they can move themselves, in the greatest game of all

© Copyright 2008 William Taylor Cody - All Rights Reserved
chopsticks
Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888
The US,
1 posted 2008-10-18 10:50 AM


“ I'm 16 so my poems vary from good to bad ”

I can see that Taylor, but I bet you’ll knock our socks off by the time you’re 18 .

Btw, that does bring up a bone of contention with me , is it actually possible to be 16.



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