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Critical Analysis #2

Favorite Book (A Rhyme)

Essorant
Member Elite

since 2002-08-10

Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada

0 posted 2002-09-14 08:58 PM

Favorite Book

Thou comely book storiated
most potently ideated
with consummate skill created
and full forthright emprise stated,
how well thou readest writ in wise
that pleases my mind's countless eyes!
Like a limning of divine dyes
or constellation poising skies.
Each theme, by subtile soul, each thought
by habile hand and heart begot.
Of breadth and depth and cover true
thy grace no wit can misconstrue.
Strong as clarion notes well played
thou art a book an angel made
and in thy volume bindst me
reader of thine, eternally.

[This message has been edited by Essorant (09-14-2002 09:00 PM).]

Radrook
Senior Member

since 2002-08-09

Posts 648

1 posted 2002-09-15 04:51 AM

WOW!
Beautifuly expressed!
You are truly an artiste my friend!

I found only one small area that might need an improvement.

"....or constellation poising skies.

["pensive skies" carries more imagery punch. The phrase "poising skies" I found nondescriptive and confusing. But that could just be me.]

Everything else I found absolutely perfect.

Congratulations on a fine work of art!

[This message has been edited by Radrook (09-15-2002 04:53 AM).]

geenabee
Member

since 2002-09-10

Posts 59
NC--USA

2 posted 2002-09-16 03:35 PM

Exactly how I feel about my favorite book!
Good work!

glad to read ya
gb

Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

3 posted 2002-09-18 12:39 PM

Well now I have to find that book. Very well crafted for sure. You sent me to the dictionary a couple of times, thinking you made some typos. My

though. You were right on every time. I think I probably agree with Rad on the poising skies but I don't have a suggestion. Had he not pointed it out though, I probably would not have thought anything of it.

Thanks,

Pete

Never express yourself more clearly than you can think - Niels Bohr

Essorant
Member Elite

since 2002-08-10

Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada

4 posted 2002-09-21 11:51 PM

Radrook, geenabee, Not A Poet,

Thank you all taking the time to read and enjoy.

take care,
Essorant

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