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Watch Your Watchdogs
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Watch Your Watchdogs |
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RC Langill Member
since 2008-03-09
Posts 104 |
Watch Your Watchdogs Always keep a tight rein on the watchdogs of your doubt. Others are so anxious when you let them roam about. To their cries and whimpers so quietly do hearken. People get real fussy if you set their watchdogs barkin'. Though time and time you shush them, do not send them away. Without their whines and warnings, there's disaster and dismay. So the public won't perceive you as some floppy landed trout, Grab and keep a tight rein on the watchdogs of your doubt. |
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| © Copyright 2008 RC Langill - All Rights Reserved | |||
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
RC, I flat out love this one. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This read very well out loud--a "tight" write and I liked the concept too. I floundered a bit at the "trout" though, which seemed out of place--but perhaps that was part of the point. Didactic poetry can be a bore at times--but I liked the "watch your watchdogs" quite a lot. It's a bit like watching yourself watch yourself, and that can border on madness, especially in the area of doubt. I particularly enjoyed the subtle touch of each line being declarative. The calm assertive tone accentuated authority without being threatening.  Enjoyed the read! |
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RC Langill Member
since 2008-03-09
Posts 104 |
"trout" was partly a reach for the rhyme, but it is also accurate. There is little that looks as futilely frantic as the flopping of a fish that's just been landed on the bank. Not a picture that inspires confidence. |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
RC, I would try to find another word for “ public “ maybe people or world. Public sounds like a word a politician would use. It just doesn’t sound right to me. Being a fisherman I understand the trout thing . Great poem. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Understand or not, somewhat logical or not, trout in that context just screams "hey I'm a forced rhyme." It really is distracting and trivializes your efforts otherwise. |
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RC Langill Member
since 2008-03-09
Posts 104 |
First, thank you both for responding. I agree that the trout line may have a few knots in it. I'd be happy if I came up with something better, but it works well enough that my internal editor isn't bugging me right now. Using the term "the public" does sound political, but, in a way, that's the point. We all have a "public": acquaintances, people we work with, or people who see us regularly who don't even know our names. Even those of us who would never post a reply on a public forum still have to deal with a "public" just to get about our lives. We must deal with our doubts. We have to do so quietly, or it may seen as incompetence rather than realistic reassessment. Isaac Asimov once stated "Most people would rather be told 'Two and two is definitely three' than to have some scientist tell them 'Two and two is probably four'." Calling this a didactic poem is right on point. I wrote mainly as advice to myself. |
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RC Langill Member
since 2008-03-09
Posts 104 |
To NotAPoet, thank you as well. Your response came in as I was composing mine. You have provided what I needed to kick my internal editor off the couch: Watch Your Watchdogs Always keep a tight rein on the watchdogs of your doubt. Others are so anxious when you let them roam about. To their cries and whimpers so quietly do hearken. People get real fussy if you set their watchdogs barkin'. Though time and time you shush them, do not send them away. Without their whines and warnings, there's disaster and dismay. To avoid the noise and whispers as you move yourself about Grab and keep a tight rein on the watchdogs of your doubt. I did like the trout as a strong image, but that's why it was a disruptively mixed metaphor. To loosen the leash a bit, I'll admit that mixed metaphor is an element I may not guard against enough. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Much better. Thanks. |
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dwgpoet Member
since 2007-03-05
Posts 122FL, USA |
Yes, much better. I do feel sorry for the dogs whining though they may be useful. And, I guess the city dogs are saved from their lack of a prairie. asta. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I like the trout line, but yet another poem on the importance of being balanced? Wouldn't a dramatic/theatrical setting make this a stronger piece? |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Thoreau someplace talked about the importance of surprise. The image he used was, I believe, that a thing was surprising as "a trout in the milk." I've always loved the image, and this thread set of the association. Thought I'd share it. |
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