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Critical Analysis #2
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Tea Cups Tipped
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Tea Cups Tipped |
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badboypoet Member
since 2008-03-11
Posts 96 |
I never saw a chair so empty. It's funny the things you remember, like the way you held your tea cup, so demure, refined, one pinky stilted towards the sky; as if you were sipping tea with royalty. Every four o'clock, I hated your teeth, laid out beside the saucer; removed so they wouldn't stain. It gave the table a mean snarl and made you look much older. I would have put more sugar in your cup, but you know what the doctor said. Besides, I knew you sneaked in an extra lump when I was whistling with the kettle. I haven't slept much since we last had tea, and I haven't had tea much since we last slept. I guess love is all about routine and I'm used to a table with teeth. I never saw such an empty chair. |
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| © Copyright 2008 badboypoet - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
Such a lovely poem. I don't know how one could change something to make me enjoyed better. Enjoyed very much. and laughed. |
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eminor_angel Member
since 2003-05-22
Posts 323Canada |
WOW. This is fantastic. I love your opening line. |
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badboypoet Member
since 2008-03-11
Posts 96 |
Thanks you both. I just recently did a creative writing course and on of the drills was they brought in an object and we had to write about it. Object was a tea cup. Weird though, after reading it to the group, most didn't dig it, siad it was too vague, so I thought I'd try and find a secod opinion, and viola I found this sight. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Nice. Reminds me of my grandmother. Never could get those damn things to fit quite right. I do miss her though. Thanks for sharing. |
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eminor_angel Member
since 2003-05-22
Posts 323Canada |
I don't think it's vague at all. You have very specific and grounded images. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
I found this piece to feel so real and touching~ Your thoughts captured my attention~ Welcome to PiP~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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badboypoet Member
since 2008-03-11
Posts 96 |
Thanks everyone for the kind words. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Badboy, This was a very emotive write. You touched on things simply, you had me sitting in that very chair. I liked the whistling with the teapot part as well. I don't know what "age group" you recited this for, the understanding of it came very easily to me. Welcome to Passions! |
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badboypoet Member
since 2008-03-11
Posts 96 |
Thank you kindly, The group was a mish mash of sorts, some young, some old, some inbetween. A few liked it, but some kinda gave it a hard stomp on it's back so to speak. I ain't trying to be paranoid, but I think it had more to do with me not really fitting in or being their mold of someone who should be liking poetry. I speak casually much differently than I write, I get in a different place, a different voice, and try to find myself as someone else, or somewhere else. I'm not so loosey goosey with my words and take the time to use proper grammar, spelling and such. I'm even guilty of looking at a Thesarus or two. So usually people are surprised that I write. I know a few people in that class get a little bent over a few of the simple questions I ask, but I joined it to learn, and I gotta ask if I don't know something. We all start somewhere. But so be it, I enjoy reading and writing and it does no harm to no one. I'm not sure if this is the place for me either though. I've read a lot of what people are talking about and I'm having trouble following all the technical stuff, so I might be a bit out of my league. |
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dwgpoet Member
since 2007-03-05
Posts 122FL, USA |
Yes, badboypoet. Now, I see why thee recognized the two at your door contained personality. Your the typical, poetic genius. Fret not what other, non poets critique. After "Tea Cups Tipped" LET me buy the book. |
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badboypoet Member
since 2008-03-11
Posts 96 |
Hey thanks for kind words. Not that I don't appreciate them or nuth'n like that but I think calling me a poetic genius is like calling me champ before I've even had a single fight. I've only written a handful of poems, some of em ain't that pretty, and a few short stories. One of em is kinda good, but the rest might be best served to start a fire. And don't think I'm ungrateful or nuthing for what ya said, I really do appreciate the encouragement, just don't think I've earned that type of praise. |
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dwgpoet Member
since 2007-03-05
Posts 122FL, USA |
cool. The humble ones shall be lifted up. Keep writing any way until you have a book. asta. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I think it's great work, too. Remembering without idealization was a difficult stage for me, and I am working on capturing this sort of style myself. You managed to capture the imperfections of a moment in a loving way. "Every four o'clock, I hated your teeth, laid out beside the saucer; removed so they wouldn't stain. It gave the table a mean snarl and made you look much older" That's a human observation that let's us see ourselves, the narrator and the subject. Nicely done! |
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