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A home without a wall, |
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| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Little Sparrow in black |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee 
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I swallow Sorrow’s tale, softly Throaty-down, tongue around the quailed taste of life I find a nostalgic bouquet in La Vie En Rose, imagining a strange likeness between us nothing makes me blush anymore, either Pink was never her color She sang about it through tears, a fruit, forbidden her in her early years, onward I miss the way light never missed a beauty mark or mistook a long cigarette for talent I’m sure the line up the back of her legs felt permanent, given her walk and the possibilities Luckily, her lounge-perfect brows, powder pressed skin and raven wing lips impressed the unimpressed She makes me crave a vintage slip, silk stockings, complete with a private balcony to dance alone upon, unnoticed I’m too composed of maturity and too deeply intimate with lyrics to flinch “Madeleine,” Who possesses you? Do you know? “God Forgive Me, If I Cry” Why I inherited the smoke without the breath for such song is beyond me Little Sparrow in black, every mourn has a little morning in it. Every woman needs a stage of her own Sad and resiliently beautiful~ A combination, very few lock on *Inspirations: Edith Piaf & Madeleine Peyroux* |
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| © Copyright 2008 Regina Wood - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
R- This is really outstanding. I admit that I had to do some research before I could begin to appreciate much of it, but after I did, I think you did justice to the subject matter. “La Vie En Rose …”, “Pink …”, “Little Sparrow …” – you’ve given us many clues to work with and help us follow along. Since I’m going to be one of the first few to comment, I’m going to try to keep this general (don’t want anyone else to miss out of the worthwhile research experience). My formatting issues aside, I’d say this is a finely written piece about a person and music that, learning and hearing, am not surprised in the least that it inspired a poem. I read this as being about a song that draws you in … that inspires you to become a part of it and to find ways to appropriate it. In part, I also think it is an homage to a talented artist and her “medium”, and a well-written homage at that. I think the one weakness is in the form. There are a few places where I think it enhances the poem for me, isolating certain words, controlling the pace. Examples of this, I think, are: quote: I really liked the pacing of S1 and the word choice (both sound and meaning). “Madeleine” seemed initially like a rather obscure reference, but after doing some reading (and finally noticing that I failed to copy your "*" line when moving my comments to Word), I understand why someone familiar with La Vie En Rose would know immediately what you mean. In other places, the line breaks gave the poem more of a disjointed feel to me than a tone of somber reflection. The “felt” pauses at “between us” (S1), “either” (S2), “for talent” (S4), and “to flinch” (S8) seem a little out of place to me, although I do think it works better for me with “unnoticed” (S7). To try to illustrate what I mean, I played a bit with the location of line-breaks and lengths of lines in S3 and S4, and, in S3, switched the placement of the final two lines. I don’t know. To me, making the lines longer seems to bring out how finely written your phrases are. I miss the way light never missed a beauty mark or mistook a long cigarette for talent. Given her walk and the possibilities, I’m sure the line up the back of her legs felt permanent. Luckily, her lounge-perfect brows, powder pressed skin and raven wing lips impressed the unimpressed She makes me crave a vintage slip, silk stockings, complete with a private balcony to dance alone upon, unnoticed. One more observation … my reading of S14 and S15 seemed a little ambiguous. Given the life of Edith Piaf (and particularly how it ended), are you advising her post mortem, or are you reflecting on something else? Is she an example of one who is both sad and resiliently beautiful, or an illustration of those who do not get a lock on both in life? At any rate, thanks for the enjoyable read. Also, the music samples I found on the Web were impressive. Jim |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
well, I have been an Edith Piaf fan for many years and your first line was so perfect, you could do no wrong after that.  |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Jim~ First, I'm most happy you took the time to discover Edith and become acquainted with her persona & art. Yes, she is entirely inspiring to me. After hearing Madeleine perform La Vie En Rose, I had mixed feelings. I don't like to hear new artists attempt beloved treasure songs, but I'm being unfair, because if I had half a voice I'd try (alone where no one could possibly hear me, though.) I know I’ll never possess or be “possessed” with such a voice, so, I give Madeleine her due credit for her attempts and another song I favor of hers: Her cover of Hank Williams Sr.'s "Weary Blues,” which embodies the lyric I referenced. Second, I’m very happy with the way you handled my form. Believe me; my form irritates me from draft-point to rare print due to the fact that I hate the way it looks on a page, so I edit it write off.  This is why I sincerely appreciate your example and your thoughts on lengthening the lines. I’ll follow your cues because I truly want to gain something by losing the form & length.quote: The ending is reflective of her energy, predating her death and post. I feel she must have seen light in every new day, or she’d folded long before she ever reached a stage, of womanhood or popularity. quote: Yes. A rare example: Her sadness affords her beauty. What a time of hardship she had, and instead of becoming withdrawn or bitter by the lowest of those depths, she sang with a reaching that vivifies her timelessness. In today’s time, many artists project angst/anger, though they’ve never experienced a true shot of unfortunate in their life. In fact, much of their hardships are self-inflicted or it’s an air they bank heavily upon for popularity. Edith suffered serious misfortune throughout her life, and she won hearts and followers by trilling through her tears the lyrics that never befell her quite the way she sang them. Sorry to be so lengthy on my reply. Thank you, for your time and attention and for finding the “music” here and everywhere. Dearest Balladeer, I’m thrilled we have a mutual admiration and thank you for the compliment. I would love for you to compose your rhyming thoughts around her influence, if you feel up to the task. I’m more than happy to read. always, reg |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I swore I would stay away from this one, because I want to see the movie so badly I squirm just reading this. The fact that I squirmed while reading this is a good thing though. And I agree about that first line--it may well be all you needed, but who would argue more? Lovely, and lush, without being prim. |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
It's a shame this one is slipping down the list. It's a great post. Jim P.S. rwood (Reg?) - perhaps if you post links to her music, that might help. |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Karen~ Yes, see the movie, and thanks for your eyes here. These words are only a tiny window. I appreciate your stop by, despite the urge, and your kind thoughts.Jim~ Aw, thanks for your support. Been busy and wanted to post the revision, too, but the links will have to do for now. Ok, here is Edith La Vie En Rose Her younger/earlier versions are sung in a higher octave but I like the resonance in that one. Her voice just became smoother with age. Hymne a L'Amour That one is simply beautiful to me. And here is Madeleine Peyroux singing J'Ai Deux Amours Her voice just curls around the songs of the past. This vid features snaps of my fav haunt=Paris. J'Ai Deux Amours was famously performed by the songbird/dancer Josephine Baker, and she inspires yet another poem...soon to post. love, reg |
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