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tears for the homeless
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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tears for the homeless |
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openmind Junior Member
since 2007-11-05
Posts 12 |
My feet are so cold I haven't worn shoes in weeks I'm so weary and tired, I have nowhere to sleep This jacket isn't keeping me warm, I've had it since the war NO money to spend, should I just rob this store? My hands are frostbit, these gloves aren't doing the job I'm starting to lose my mind, Is my name Jim Or Bob? This raggedy hat is worn out, my head and ears are froze My whole face is numb, I cant even feel my nose The government got me into this, why cant they get me out Before I went to war, my life was filled with clout So I will just sit here with the cart full of old clothes When will I die? who cares and who knows I've lost all hope and feel forever hopeless Because nobody cares to stop and help the homeless.. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Openmind, Welcome. Uh, first, we need you to turn on 'accepts constructive critiques' thing in your profile. You just need to go back to that page (you filled it out when you registered) and do that before we can talk about your poem. Second, this is a slow moving forum. Yes, some of the rules can be bent a little (double posting and whatnot), but I'm not sure posting three poems consecutively is in your best interest. We'll tend to concentrate on one and neglect the others. Good luck! |
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