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Silly poem for Karen
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Silly poem for Karen |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Silly Poem for Karen There is here, and there is now. No angelus, no flying cow. What comes next will come. At best, You put the other crap to rest. You can’t go back and make things right. Do what gets you through the night. Do what gets you through the day. It hardly matters anyway. I’ve found one thing to be true: It isn't me. It isn't you. So, what’s with all this hesitation? Your journals are your destination! |
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| © Copyright 2007 Jim Aitken - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
smiling... now how'd you know I needed this? (A norco would have been good--but who are we kiddin'? *chuckle*) and pssssssst...writing is so much easier when it is "not work". Is that a good working title? "Not work"  if you think I have somethin' to say--" Thank you lovie. Yer in my heart...  |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
A splendid little piece of, dare I say it, doggerel. I'd love to see more stuff like this grace our blue screens. Why must we always be serious? |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
That is a splendid little piece . I'm using the second stanza as a toast next Saturday and that's no joke. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
alright... going to sleep and back to...wince...work. I had way too much fun today. (There were explosions and everything!)  and I had nuttin' to do wif it...  thanks Jimbeaux!  |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
Dear Jim, I love this one. What is the style if it was in any? Was this the style that Jbouder mentioned Hebrew or something similar? (in Stephen's poem) about the fixed number of stress but not the fixed number of syllables. Will you tell me how do you stress your reading? |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
TM: No ... he's writing in rhyming couplets of eight syllables each. It isn't uncommon for comic verse to be written in this fashion. Jim |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
"he's writing in rhyming couplets of eight syllables each" ...Thank you Jbouder. Dear Jim, you made my math so bad. |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
I'll let Pete (a/k/a Not A Poet) explain how 7 and 9 can equal "8" in verse. Truncated feet and feminine endings (is there a politically correct term for the latter) ... I'm a little rusty on all the fancy terms. Jim, this is an enjoyable, lighthearted little poem. Karen's reply reminds us all that there can certainly be more to poetry than literary value. Jim |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
"Do what gets you through the day. It hardly matters anyway." I loved this it brightened up my day a whole bunch  Krysti |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Well Jim, the consensus is this one is a keeper. I agree. My favorite lines: "Do what gets you through the day. It hardly matters anyway." That just is too true to life. The last couplet, of course, makes this a personal statement to Karen and that is fine. It fits the original intent. I would be awfully tempted to replace those lines with something more general so as to make the whole thing meaningful to others. Silly poem? Sure. But there is a lot to be said for a little levity from time to time. Pete |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Jim? I'm not sure if they are pickin' on you or me!   Work? <--if yer gotta roll on the floor, might as well laugh while yer there. *wink*And pick up that lint too...hmmm. *laughing* |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Hi all, and thank you. This was indeed a bit of light verse, and I'm surprised that it has stuck aroud for a while. Thank you for kind comments, and glad you enjoyed. Notapoet: How about: So poet, why the hesitation? Your journals are the destination! Keeps the play on words in the last line and de-Karenizes it. Yes, no, maybe? Have to change the title, too. Karen knows the poem was "for" her, and if she minds, Lord knows I'll hear about it! Best, Jim |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Well, God/dess knows you would. Blessed be, The Karenoid |
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