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Critical Analysis #2

Precision.

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

0 posted 2007-06-25 12:04 PM

Precision.

Eating my skin eating my skin
You’re eating my skin
Devouring all I have
To protect myself with

Trying your hardest
To impress upon me
Good values with a heated brand
In the shape of a cross

Trying your hardest to be truthful
To be precise to be right
But you’re eating me eating me
From bottom up and back to front

You’re eating my skin eating my skin
Devouring all I have
And to be precise
To have precision

(just like you)

You can go to hell.

oceanvu2
Senior Member

since 2007-02-24

Posts 1066
Santa Monica, California, USA

1 posted 2007-06-25 06:36 PM

Hello Paul!
Precision.

Eating my skin eating my skin
You’re eating my skin
Devouring all I have
To protect myself with

            Does you skin contain you, define you, protect you?  Surely you have more than this scant barrier for protection.  Or, you could toughen up your skin, since skin-biters are never going to stop.

Trying your hardest
To impress upon me
Good values with a heated brand
In the shape of a cross

         I think the above might be referential to your your folks whose zealotry you do not share.  If it is a societal "you," well, it's a big world out there, and not "everyone" is trying to burden you with a cross you don't choose to bear.

Trying your hardest to be truthful
To be precise to be right

       Is this an out of place acknowledgement of earnest effort, given the poem's tone and closing retort?

But you’re eating me eating me
From bottom up and back to front

You’re eating my skin eating my skin
Devouring all I have
And to be precise
To have precision

(just like you)

(Well,)You can go to hell(!)

      Isn't this "burning" with a different cross?

Your anger is well conveyed in emotional terms, but you might want to work on the, uh, precision, if you choose to retackle the lines.

Your-friendly-pain-in-the-butt, Jim

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