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long nights displaced
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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long nights displaced |
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18 Junior Member
since 2007-03-28
Posts 25 |
12: 45 clock strikes hail slower per-midnight Moments grow in slights of sheets crow alone in mockery of you Open windows unyielding night as it beats across plains Ice falls upon empty spots under blankets that lost her embrace Wrinkled lights shade and illuminate pail cascades lain over naked places Righteous is your life alone Mistakes timeless grace reap loathsome gazes on chilled plains and empty cascades Coursing despise traced dauntless templates where her body lay on nights and kept cold at bay Slept alone under frozen drapes cold in mockery of what you wanted Warmth was not her so welcome the cold in wait of something with more to offer |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
12: 45 clock strikes hail slower per-midnight (I do not get the hail slower part and how it relates Moments grow in slights of sheets crow alone in mockery of you (what do you mean by slights ? Open windows unyielding night as it beats across plains (unyield in night? How do windows beat? Ice falls upon empty spots under blankets that lost her embrace (Very nice line here. I really like it Wrinkled lights shade and illuminate pale cascades lain over naked places (I gather you are talking about landscape or am I wrong? Righteous is your life alone (I do not understand how this relates. ?? Mistake' timeless grace reap loathsome gazes on chilled plains and empty cascades (Wow, deep,intense. This is a powerful line Coursing despise traced dauntless templates where her body lay on nights and kept cold at bay (how do you course despice? Slept alone under frozen drapes cold in mockery of what you wanted Warmth was not ?her? so welcome the cold in wait of some This line I do not get , some who? Also her or here |
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