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Critical Analysis #2
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Damascus Road
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Damascus Road |
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Aurelian Member
since 2007-03-20
Posts 109TX, USA 
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This long, hot road – the sunlight, the dusty trees And the endless tapping of sandals on the northward way This fire within will never let me sit – to Damascus I must go – this zeal impels me on Down the long road and over the mountains Yellowed letters, their edges rough with travel-stains Bump and rustle in the worn satchel The priest’s hand shook as it wrote them “The sect must be broken up” – unclean scoundrels With bold mouths. Stiff-necked people indeed! Grill them, whip them, grind them to mud - Anything that will stop the cursed madness The road winds ever on Under the bright sides of Hermon Through the cities of swine-herding gentiles With their million filthy idols, and ahead More doors to open and more crazies – I remember Sitting at the right….No! It must stop I am all the way persuaded it is wrong And do not hold this sin… Stop! I must not think it! Kill! Kill them every one. Damascus, Samaria Gaza, Azotus, Jerusalem! If they had But one throat, I would cut it, I would Prove it was all a lie from the start - It was a lie, I see heaven opened…… The golden light, the blinding light Falling from above the clouds Knees dip to the road-rock. A face that takes all doubt away. And voice like singing thunder. Like a dream that melts away The truth unveiled dissolves The long, thick night of error. This is the love blind eyes can see Much clearer than the sighted could. |
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| © Copyright 2007 Joshua R. Tindell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ChristianSpeaks Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 396Iowa, USA |
Yeah this is good. Nice description. Historically accurate. I think the thing that is missing is that the conversion was much grander that than the evil that Saul/Paul committed. I wish that you would have shifted your focus there rather than the former. But nice piece. Dane |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I liked the first stanza, but the moment you need to pick up the pace, you seem to run out of steam. Did you write this in one sitting? |
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Aurelian Member
since 2007-03-20
Posts 109TX, USA |
I did initially write this in one sitting, but I've been back to it many times for revisions. Would it be better if I eliminated the first four lines of the second stanza? I want the last stanza to slow down some, I had in mind the kind of "slow motion" camera view that stretches each second into two to accentuate a critical point. I wanted a change of pace from the faster clip of the first two stanzas - but maybe it made it sound clunky - tell me what you think. |
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