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Critical Analysis #2
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The Mayfly
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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The Mayfly |
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Aurelian Member
since 2007-03-20
Posts 109TX, USA 
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I saw a mayfly rise from a still country pond And saw it flit away its brief hour of life, Dropping as a spinner into the mere. And I wondered if it knew it had life - Or if “life” had no meaning to it Just the quick flash of a handful of images. What’s better I wish I knew, To be ever goaded by the sense Of the goose-stepping severer - Or to catch the ephemeral moment As it falls, and never ask “to where?” [This message has been edited by Aurelian (03-28-2007 08:54 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2007 Joshua R. Tindell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
I thought the first two stanzas to be a light but delightful and even insightful observation. I'm having a harder time relating to the third. I think the first two stand alone. Pete |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Neat use of the archaism "mere." There is a minor change of tense problem, I think, in the first stanza. "watch" might be "watched." Jim |
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minus Member
since 2007-03-24
Posts 75 |
a bit wordy, but delicate in all the right places...what if 'watch' were a noun? |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Hi Aurelian! Each time I read this, I love it more. Good edit. I have no problem with the third stanza, as suggested elsewhere, and don't see the first two stanzas as being "light." I see great skill and a meaningful "about-ness." I had a teacher, long ago, John Williams, who's mantra was "Poetry moves people." That's where you are working. Your stuff is so far and above most of what is put up here, I wonder why you are posting, not publishing. In awe, Jim Aitken |
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