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Critical Analysis #2

Rear Ended

oceanvu2
Senior Member

since 2007-02-24

Posts 1066
Santa Monica, California, USA

0 posted 2007-03-05 05:49 PM

A twelve line poem for the Viking, who asked for one.

REAR ENDED

I moved to Phoenix to make money
And escape my wintry past.
Turned out I had colon cancer
And I lost my ass.

This was thirty years ago.
My ass has not returned.
But, given the alternative,
I don’t think I was burned.

My care was free,
I shouldn’t knock it.
No one's hands
were in my pocket.

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

1 posted 2007-03-05 09:21 PM

Absolutely charming.

I'd tell you to fix that past-ass rhyme, but I like it too much the way it is.

Excellent work, my fair home dawg.

Valedictions,

-Paul

dwgpoet
Member

since 2007-03-05

Posts 122
FL, USA

2 posted 2007-03-05 09:27 PM

Assless in Pheonix?
Is this real? No Ass? No Bull?
On a 7 scale,

I rate this a full
6.99999.
only repetition seen
in one line.

Clarity rating
also a 7.
It's simplistic, but sublime.

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

3 posted 2007-03-06 01:08 PM

I like it. Simple, funny , witty. Good

oceanvu2
Senior Member

since 2007-02-24

Posts 1066
Santa Monica, California, USA

4 posted 2007-03-06 02:37 PM

Yeah, it's real, but that shouldn't matter. On the other hand, thirty years passed before I wrote this little verse, so, apparently, a full on-AP resection and irreversible colostomy may have an effect on the psyche.

Jim

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

5 posted 2007-03-26 12:27 PM

Haha! Funny guy that Jimbo.

-Paul

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