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Critical Analysis #2
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my skeletons
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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my skeletons |
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ashlbee_86 New Member
since 2007-01-24
Posts 9Michigan, USA |
Consequences of starving affection: A violet shrinking, fasting, and fal l i n g a w a y receives the collision of this crushing kiss with empty bones. g a u n [t] s k i n s h o w i n g a secret s k e l e t o n w h i l e s h a k i n g l i m b s pledge self perfection. |
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| © Copyright 2007 Ashley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
The last bit of lettering is kind of confusing. I like it though. In the first bit the lettering works well and the idea unwravels well. It feels more disjointed in the second bit, err not disjointed but not as together |
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ashlbee_86 New Member
since 2007-01-24
Posts 9Michigan, USA |
Hmm...thanks you Rhia. I appreciate your help. The spacing at the end of the poem is supposed to seem like a skeleton-with all the spaces and all. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I suppose I should come clean here. I'm not a big fan of this type of style. The typographical oddity thing just doesn't work for me. So much so, that about six months ago, a buddy and I got into a screaming, drunken 'discussion' over the merits of E. E. Cummings. I think he's one of the most overrated poets of the twentieth century. The other guy disagreed.  I can see some merit, perhaps, in light verse and I admit I played around with it myself a long time ago, but I just don't think it works very well. Advice: Use the language to convey what you want and avoid this whenever possible. But then again it may only be an idiosyncrasy of mine.  [This message has been edited by Brad (01-27-2007 10:49 PM).] |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
It's not just you, Brad. I agree that poetry is about words and words should cary the weight. I'm sure we will get arguments though. |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
I absolutely loved this. If you read any of my other comments on other poems, I can be a bit ruthless at times, and I almost always see something wrong. I was hard pressed to find anything here. I found this poem refreshing. The format was interesting and easy to read for me, though others thought it might have been a bit confusing. Congratulations on a first class poem! Keep up the great work, -paul |
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