Critical Analysis #2 |
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Comfortable Liars |
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Russell8624 Member
since 2006-11-28
Posts 99Minnesota |
Here is one I wrote yesterday that has a clearer message. Thanks to all who gave their advice in my other threads, as I have no given up on that particular work and moved on. Here I am, Among these comfortable liars. Leaning with them, Whispering together in false tones. I will always remember their trained expressions; gestures with no meaning. This is the land of make believe Yet still, it believes not in me. I am fabricated as they are, enveloped in my own contempt. I trade my thoughts for echoes, mere replications of a collective mind. I cannot react or motion, Without a force not my own. This is our reality This is our fantasy These are our dreams, These are our waking moments. Life is none but a fallacy. A pointless endeavor , of which we play no part. For together we are, alone, We are not. I am a prisoner among them If one dies, We all die. |
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© Copyright 2006 Russell - All Rights Reserved | |||
rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
Way clear , very nice. It seemed kinda prosey in places to me. |
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Russell8624 Member
since 2006-11-28
Posts 99Minnesota |
Define "Prosey" |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
If you meant it to be a poem, comes out as if I deletd the spaces and added words here and words here , It would be prose. |
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