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Critical Analysis #2
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I Must Remember
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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I Must Remember |
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openthoughts Member
since 2006-01-16
Posts 94Where the child can be free |
Nobody seems to be able to catch the true meaning of this poem but yet I haven't quite abandoned my hopes I Must Remember Truly blessed I must be to bear the weight of such a life. It is a gift that though I asked for it with great enthusiasm, I never imagined it could have been as rewarding as it is I can see my blessing every morning in the color of my eyes so beautiful and bright like a sunset on the horizon I can feel my reward in every step shooting through my body and sending waves of content down my arm each demanding a smile If it were not for my gift, this beautiful blessing I would not view the world the same, I'm sure. And when strangers see me they all can tell that I am truly more blessed than they |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
What is there to get? How many months along? Of course, it's always possible that you're shooting for a double meaning or something deeper (whatever that might be.) If so, I suggest an increase of the imagery. Let the pictures do the talking.  [This message has been edited by Brad (12-04-2006 02:18 PM).] |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
Agreeing with Brad here... I did kind of like the second stanza, the idea of seeing sunset colors in the eyes was neat. Other than that, I would try not to repeat the word 'blessing/blessed' so much- it's overkill, and like Brad says, it leaves little left to 'get.' Hope this helped. |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
Ok. untill I read brad's comment I am sorry to say i didn't get it but sometimes I am very oblivious. Now knowing what it is about, I really liked the stanza about the sunset it does bring it out better now that I get it and got the clues I stupidly missed. I would maybe make this a bit more with imagery |
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openthoughts Member
since 2006-01-16
Posts 94Where the child can be free |
I'm certainly starting to agree that I'm unclear when it comes to many points but if you're depending on the imagery then you are most certainly looking in the wrong place. The actual intent is tied in with specific word choices. Although fault lies with me for not creating the tone I intended, many of the words were used with a specific intention. Words are too precious a commodity to be wasted. |
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openthoughts Member
since 2006-01-16
Posts 94Where the child can be free |
And the repition of the words "blessed" and "blessing" was done with purpose (though apparently this purpose was not conveyed too well). |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
It's impossible to read this without pregnancy popping into my head. Whatever you are intending here, if you don't take that into account, I think you might have a problem. Remember (Sorry, I couldn't resist.), the surface meaning of a poem is the meaning, anything else is just a talking point for later. |
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openthoughts Member
since 2006-01-16
Posts 94Where the child can be free |
It's impossible to read this without pregnancy popping into my head. Whatever you are intending here, if you don't take that into account, I think you might have a problem. Remember (Sorry, I couldn't resist.), the surface meaning of a poem is the meaning, anything else is just a talking point for later. Actually, pregnancy is not something I even considered when writing it but that conclusion is certainly not unsupported. And surface meaning is rarely ever the meaning of a poem. If people relied only on surface meaning when reading poetry, then I can think of quite a few examples where poems would be horribly misunderstood. Those "talking points" are the poems. In fact, many of the most famous poets (par example: R. Frost) centered poetry around what you've labled as "talking points" |
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Blairsvilleman Junior Member
since 2007-02-05
Posts 35North Georgia Near Murphy NC |
Sounds like giving the life of blood. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Perhaps, we're just talking about too different things here. A poem is about something. Two roads in a yellow wood is about a guy at a fork in the road etc. To me that is the meaning of the poem. That it is also a metaphor for something else is what I call a talking point. Far too often, I think, we lose track of the sheer beauty of poetry as we worry about what it is 'really' about. Kind of like walking through a forest alone. We tend not to worry too much about what it's supposed to mean but we do recognize a tree for a tree, a bird for a bird, the wind and so forth. I deeply suspect that if you can get the surface meaning right, the metaphors will simply come. |
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RavenSmith Member
since 2007-03-02
Posts 53Oregon |
What I got from the poem is you walk lighter through the world because you either forgive or move on without letting life torment you. You maybe without but you are with much. ~Best Regards,Raven Smith |
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sampo Member
since 2007-02-25
Posts 54oz |
i didn't get the pregnancy thing in my first read, until i read the comments. my initial impression was that the narrator is a delusional drug addict. why? the red eyes and the whole third strophe lead me in that direction. whatever your intent, the repitition did not work for me, and it could use some trimming. not sure what is essential, so won't presume any further. |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Or, it's not "about the thing," it's the thing itself. Poems that need to mined for meaning are interesting if you like crossword puzzles. Poems that CAN be mined for meaning are poems first, then critics get to go do their thing. This keeps everyone in business. Jim |
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