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The Caterpillar
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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The Caterpillar |
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emy Junior Member
since 2006-11-04
Posts 32 |
The Caterpillar That's all he was, a worm, with flagellating legs and sagging trunk, his eyes protrude from either side and he could eat! They laughed to watch him munch leaves -no crumbs.'Ugly,' whispered his neighbours, but he could hear, the swish of petals drawn to hide their blurring forms.He cried, but within, he had no words, just the crunch of mandibles as they cracked the trail of green, dawdling down to stem. He changed his skin as one would a summer shirt, but 'ugly' blew the breeze and every leaf still standing whispered back the word. One day, the sun conquered both clouds and mist, and threw it's light upon the tangled skin, desolate, hanging beside the last half devoured leaf, but he with heavy trunk and wobbly legs had flown in glory to heaven. hi I'm new, hope I'm posting in the right place!  |
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| © Copyright 2006 emy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
I liked this the imagery and idea. Maybe CA wasn't the best place for your first post. This is a workshop really. Not just a forum where you post and one or two posts if your lucky tell you what they liked or didn't or are constructive. Here everything is really to improve poetry. This was really prosey though , too prosey it seemed. I think that you can by all means post here, but if you are a Teen then come post in Teen forum #8, or if your not then post in Open , those are the forums that I personally at least kind of know. You can always explore the other ones on your own. Suggestion if you are going to post here in CA then if you read other peoples poetry here and try to give constructive crittique even just saying 'I liked stanza 2 , line 4 because it brought out a deep feeling and let me picture it , or something like that helps.' Also if you read our poems and post then those writers will see you read their work and took the time and most will try to look for yours when you post. Personally I thought the imagery in this was great and it actually reminded me alot of The ugly duckling, and movies with the odd one out or stepsisters and such. I think with work this could be consideraly good , if you can make it more poetic and put a bit more structure. Welcome to PIP! RHIA |
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emy Junior Member
since 2006-11-04
Posts 32 |
Hi rhia, thanks for the advice, I do want to learn poetry properly, and I'll try to critique other works as well as revise this to unprosify it, and I'll go to the other forums too. thanks for the welcome! I'm glad I came here. emy |
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