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Essorant
Member Elite

since 2002-08-10

Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada

0 posted 2006-09-07 10:08 AM

Guest

You kingly come
Kind to this land
Good giving some
Gifts of your hand.
You have laid long
Lifesteps in sand
From weathers strong
Winterwise stand.
At earth's each end
Ever you knit,
Fathomed a friend
By firewarmth lit.
Now tells the tide,
Treader is fit,
Farer from wide
To feast must sit.
The seat instead
Of steps now greet
Friendly at bread,
Fresh wine and meat.
The harp will hail
Your heart, now hear,
Its timeful tale
Betide your ear
Of dearest day
in dreams my guest
And soothing say
Now is time to rest.

kif kif
Member

since 2006-06-01

Posts 439
BCN

1 posted 2006-09-07 02:22 PM

This reminds me of The Chronicles Of Narnia...it could be the "winter-wise stand" and "fathomed a friend". I'm unsure of the rhythm, it's quite lilting...perhaps it will grow on me. Almost a lullaby?

I'm reading it as 'The Day' as your guest, which makes it quite complex---Day, it's time to rest?

Interesting, Essorant. Thanks for the read.

Beau de L'air
Member

since 2006-08-03

Posts 105
Middlesex, England

2 posted 2006-09-08 06:53 PM

K, G, L, W, E, F and so on. That's very hypnotic and clever. The form gives you the opportunity to explore the same sort of magic as Ogham versifiers did (and do). You've managed to get the swing of Celtic verse as in

"Friendly at bread,
Fresh wine and meat.
The harp will hail
Your heart, now hear,
Its timeful tale
Betide your ear"

Never mind the critics who will accuse you of anachronism etc. It's good fun whatever they say.

DG

Essorant
Member Elite

since 2002-08-10

Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada

3 posted 2006-09-10 02:42 PM

Kif Kif

Thanks for your words.
I wasn't seeking anything metaphoric in this poem. Although there are some little points of ambiguity. For example, "winterwise" may be read two ways, with the wise as of wisdom, or the wise as in clockwise. Both are important, as it refers to the person as having wisdom from his experiences, and being wise in his winter-like age, and also, standing in the final season of his life like "winter" compared to the other seasons. Also "dearest day" may be read as meaning "dearest day" or "dearest life". Day is often used to betoken life, and night to betoken death.

Essorant
Member Elite

since 2002-08-10

Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada

4 posted 2006-09-10 02:50 PM

Beau de L'air

No, the form is somewhat inspired by Germanic verse and alliteration, not Celtic; and by my love for endrhyme. It is actually looser than you think though. Not all words need to rhyme, just most of the most important ones

"Never mind the critics who will accuse you of anachronism etc"

What anachronism?

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