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Critical Analysis #2
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raff214
Junior Member
since 2006-09-05
Posts 11
Az,USA

0 posted 2006-09-05 04:53 PM



I spend most days lost in a fog.

Swirling mists of sorrow created by the hateful words and feelings that pour down upon me, unleashed by the years of pain and damage hurled upon you.

The weight bearing down upon me like the culmination of eons of sins committed by hundreds of men.

I stand against the onslaught reaching out to you against gale forces of hatred, my hand stretched out to you in an attempt to pull you from the tempest within you.

When the storm subsides you retreat.

I stand dripping with pain from the assault, trying to put on a brave face for the woman returned to me from the horrors contained inside her crumbling facade.

My need to protect her outweighs my desire to eat, to breathe, to survive.

Her words are mercurial, dancing from love to hate, from fear to trust. They mark my soul and make me dance to her tune.

I want off this ride.

But I cannot bear the thought of losing the calm within these storms.

I hold on to the hope that what I see behind the pain and fear is real, more real than that which is used to flay me.

I kneel, not in pain now, not in supplication to the one that professes hate.

I kneel to the Angel that I see through the tattered remnants of your mask.

I kneel before the dreamer hidden and cowering in your heart.

I kneel and pray to things that I barely glimpse.

In hopes that they will not take away my dream.

My dream that you find peace within.

That you someday believe as I do, in you, in us.

I pray that we are delivered, I pray that the healing outweighs the hurt.

I pray that my heart speaks the truth, and that your lips have lied


© Copyright 2006 Jared Rafferty - All Rights Reserved
loveislove
Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 59
USA
1 posted 2006-09-06 06:27 PM


its a little wordy..its alot wordy, but i like the passion that, i feel, you put into it. it seems very heartfelt...bravo

then theres the moment of silence, the eye of the storm, when the whole world collapses, i want to be in your arms

artexeres
Member
since 2006-08-01
Posts 156
south africa
2 posted 2006-09-11 01:35 AM


Wow what a call for help? acceptence? change? Your expressions are deep and heartfelt, this is a good expressive read to me.
raff214
Junior Member
since 2006-09-05
Posts 11
Az,USA
3 posted 2006-09-11 09:04 AM


Thank you both, I didn't know how this piece would "read", but it's definately a window to how I felt/feel.
raff214
Junior Member
since 2006-09-05
Posts 11
Az,USA
4 posted 2019-03-24 08:31 AM


She came back and I don’t know if she came back because her lips slide, or because she wished to inflict upon me the pain that she thought I inflicted upon her but what she felt was an abrupt leaving. Fact of the matter is twice now that she rented my soul asunder. I want love in this world. Except that which seeks to destroy me
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