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Critical Analysis #2
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Love fails
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Love fails |
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Mika New Member
since 2006-07-10
Posts 3 |
Sleepless nights, useless fights, Heart versus brain, going insane. Can't take her, Can't leave her. Guilty conscience , unbreakable silence, Love versus faith, is it too late? Can't tell her, Can't show her. --------------------------------------------------- p.s.: i am new here and just thought it might be good way to try to get a respond on what i just wrote . |
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| © Copyright 2006 Mika - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I don't know why there are no responses, as this is very well done, certainly wish I could write so little saying so much... Welcome to PIP please keep writing and posting...this was marvelous |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
can't take her can't leave her can't tell her can't show her.. Great job.. I agree.. so much said in so very little words.. great job.. ~HeatheR~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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loveislove Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 59USA |
wow...it seemed really simple yet powerful...i really like the conflict that u express within urself The more people that I can make EXTREMELY uncomfortable, the better |
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reveur New Member
since 2006-07-20
Posts 2 |
I'm not a critic nor am I an experienced writer but I really enjoyed this. It flows well, its simple yet well expressed... |
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cynicsRus Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591So Cal So Cool! |
This is the very reason the responses on this folder have been waning. Quality is no longer the standard regarding critiquing. Thoughtful, provocative comments have given way to pretentious phrases, hyperbolic assertions and outright echolalia. Marvelous! If you must carp: Carpe diem! ICSoria My poetry forum. |
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Mika New Member
since 2006-07-10
Posts 3 |
Hey , first of all I'd like to thank you all for your answers, much appreciated. This was something I wrote without thinking about it and it was the first time I ever wrote(tried to) a poem. So I'm really happy that u guys liked it. @cynicsRus , I really had 2 think about your reply, I had to read it at least like 5 times ( english ain't my native language) and just as I recognized your name, I got what u mean - at least I hope so  .Mika |
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SecretTemptation New Member
since 2007-11-23
Posts 8US |
i think its great... when you can use the least amount of words.. and still have the intensity, you know its great. You didn't describe a lot, which allows the reader to imagine and have more of a direct connection with their own life, great work! InThisForbiddenLove.. |
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Yejun Junior Member
since 2007-11-21
Posts 49 |
This is nice little ditty. Still, I don't get how 'love versus faith' plays into this. |
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