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A Kind Of Error
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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A Kind Of Error |
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kif kif Member
since 2006-06-01
Posts 439BCN |
A Swift extinction for the taboo. All that matters is neighbourhood. Superbia localises Good, but I digress; the plinth is rude, and roughly made this tale, that's mirrored, misunderstood. A parody of Leviathan is all that sustains man. Keep asking the impossible, for it's all that's going to give. It's the render, a kind of error. [This message has been edited by kif kif (06-20-2006 03:47 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 kif kif - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Skippyrick Member
since 2006-05-16
Posts 150Rohnert Park |
hi: Your poem has a certin quilty to it. I read it twice and neather time did it make any since to me. If you had not mentioned it one of your comments I would have not know it was about Karl. So your Error may be in be in being to vage. But I admitt to not understanding a lot of what passes of for modern poerty. Rick |
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kif kif Member
since 2006-06-01
Posts 439BCN |
I'm sorry, my comment in the 'no marks Karl' thread has confused the reading of this. I said this was similar because I got a vibe of misanthropy from the Karl poem, and misanthropy is what this is all about. I used Jonathon Swift's ideas of satire to try and express how I feel about Nationalism. Some say Swift went mad when he hermitted himself away from society, but I think he realised how disgusting politics had grown...with the greed and self-importance of Nations. |
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Skippyrick Member
since 2006-05-16
Posts 150Rohnert Park |
kif: all you said may well be true. We all may soon go bananas over the state of the union if something or some one does not start to speak the truth. Rick |
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YeshuJah Member
since 2002-08-20
Posts 65FL USA |
Indeed - Nicely wrought. I don't see misanthropy; I see the inevitable strides of evolution - we're simply fodder for the next stage - whatever that is. And what pray tell is truth? The telling of which will save us all? Is it the truth of the right or left? An interesting read. I found the last two lines of the second verse a bit clumsy - almost reads as if you just decided to say no more. |
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kif kif Member
since 2006-06-01
Posts 439BCN |
Indeed, but even the word 'union' has been abused. The word 'superbia', coined by Swift, gives me goose-pimples. I doubt there's many that sees themselves as fodder for the next stage...they see others as fodder to support the main stage. The question you pose, Yeshujah, "what is Truth" can never be answered while the distinction between good and bad rests with the distinction of right and left. I know what you mean about the last two lines, Yeshujah. I battled with the word 'render'. I had 'sculpture', but thought it looked funny. The ending is abrupt-my style is by no means rounded yet, I tend to sprint to the end. It's difficult for me to imagine a different ending, though...if I say any more, it might dilute the atmosphere. |
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YeshuJah Member
since 2002-08-20
Posts 65FL USA |
Kif Kif I had a good chuckle at your comment about some seeing others as fodder for the main stage - that's probably a more likely scenario - except the strides of evolution does not give a hill of beans what any of us think. About the poem - I think it'll work just fine if you excluded those last two lines; they don't seem to add anything substantive anyway, and sculpture would surely dilute the 'atmosphere' YeshuJah. |
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kif kif Member
since 2006-06-01
Posts 439BCN |
"except the strides of evolution does not give a hill of beans to what any of us think" Is that statement really true? Food for thought... If I omitted the last two lines, would it not seem unfinished? I get that I don't need to conclude, I'm just thinking about the structure. |
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