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Critical Analysis #2

I just lied

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

0 posted 2006-06-06 04:07 PM

I just lied to my best friend
I told her I no longer like him
Now my heart suffers
I just want to be able to look at him
Without the blush creeping up my face
To be able to talk to him
Without losing my place
I want everyone to just butt out
It’s my life, don’t you see?
So go away
And let me deal
With the emotions that surround me

cynicsRus
Senior Member

since 2003-06-06

Posts 591
So Cal So Cool!

1 posted 2006-06-07 11:32 AM

I think the first five lines in this were somewhat interesting--even though this is a common subject for poetry. IMO, the first two lines are what keep it from falling completely into the dustbin of commonality. You should build on that.

If you must carp: Carpe diem!
ICSoria
My poetry forum.

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