»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #2
»
Its a long one....!
| Critical Analysis #2 |
|
Its a long one....! |
|
|
DavidTheLion Junior Member
since 2006-04-06
Posts 36 |
Heres my 2nd submission....a long "sucka". Its about an ex-girlfriend and our disfunctional relationship. A time to Dine (A dime for Time) It’s the Only way to really shine It’s the only Way to really shine. It’s the only way to really Dine. (This table) Is set for two. Dragging tails and groping verses from the netherworld She beckons forth into my dreams Silence from the past cannot intercede Tweed napkins made of flesh surround us And develop growths that we can’t seem to grasp She was like me And I was like her But together, somehow, we knew from inside our clock tower All we had was an empty pot shot Together we understood without words what it all meant And what is was not Treading along the star-spangled streets of our pain All our syrupy satin-encrusted creeds were vain Draping themselves in bushels of something sweet But we never had anything good to eat (We never had anything really good to eat) Girl, oh girl of fragmented laments Diffuse the confusion if your heart repents Too many splitting reactions were bent Too much to bare and so much spit spent Threads ensnare with ever a glare Feeling your feelings inside the itch of my hair If truth be told Of worships and warships and everything gold Stringing along songs of suspicion and sin Taking my licks on your bare soft skin Oh WHY did you have to die this way Where did death choose its head to lay? WHY Did the light fade from your face OH WHY Did you relinquish the love of a white-bearded grace? Girl, oh girl The cloak of regret has fit me to a tee The glassy puddles of autumn leaving me to sink Leaves of teal and musty oak bark soar between the snips of my fingertips WHY OH WHY are We? Hear this cry From the part of my pit that doesn’t mind The underbelly of the beast that never feels The part of me that is a part of you that is a part of everything partly untrue The inside half-numbed fantasy of a drunken halo Is the inside of your own sluggish demise dipped in a beaten stale brew We are caught in the same whirlwind We bathe in the same depths of this old curse We could have fought together the tides of tainted spirits and bee’s wax tears Perhaps in unison our heartbeats could have had a chance To hold the attention of the Creator So he could extend his hands upon us And deliver us from the clutches of the tainted dual suns that sets within us Girl, oh girl I wish I still had a choice And this voice you will never hear Dirty Words have been spoken And injuries have sliced my tongue To a stubby tip Where even honey from your mouth I could never sip Sorrows reunite inside this soul of intertwining art The contrasting feelings of logic and passions wane Beneath layers of my own self, insane? Strength is somewhere just below the surface Like a blinded bull catching its breath Chained to a withered old tree with no purpose or rest Can’t you see This is not who I was meant to be Can’t you feel My dirty fingertips have nothing left to heal There is only the remaining turmoil of a broken frame That crawled free from a cocoon made of tar and angel feathers and a lion’s mane Can’t you see you are me and I am you I’m just below the surface Embrace it Truth is True If you are willing to lift the seam Stretch the skin above the horizon with your teeth, redeem Wrinkles taught me that time can do many a wonder For a face resting soundly upon the twin breasts of thunder Father my father Have you lost us? Where have we been? Where did we go? Take away these shades of grey oozing down the eyelids of our inner sight Amidst the lights and many sighs of twilight that we try to fight Oh girl Scrape off your crown And come on down Come over and sit with me on the curb Underneath the murky lights of midnight Brushing away bugs and beasts and bedtime feasts And little crawly things that struggle to breathe right Oh girl Please come down that cloud You think it is so solid-white puffed up and proud But its been stitched together with a fading sound Take my hand and come down Accept the truth if truth be told Heads hung low But hearts plump pumped with a radiant glow Our minds might have been stung Our insides may have been overrun… Overcooked with bitty parts of pain and then some Pleasures pruned Upon the tree of suffering and ecstasy Bodies sluggish sipping time and nibbling the spine with cups of wine I feel my soul knows your soul and this has a double meaning If double-meanings could only behold So pull down your hair And let’s dine, dine, dine Would you care for some wine? Can’t you see your pain is like mine? Don’t throw away your neighbour inside Ill visit you when we lose your mind We can go out and hide when the shadows lie Forget the sunshine It might never come For painted beings like us we will always breathe numb Come and sit at this table Its been set for two Friends with souls sleeping in the cool night stable Friends who made mistakes and closed their eyes to the sting of their own Fable I’ve opened my eyes To the truth of me To the truth of you To the truth of beings inside that are half-true Girl oh girl Some have been told Of this truth behold Eyelids have handles if you are willing to reach Some say they are crafted with vulnerable speech Pull lightly and you wont grow cold Pull tightly and you will never get old When you find these handles rare Let me know but beware I will drag you over here by the hair Deep, deep, deep into the rabbit hole we will go! Midnight is nearing And the table’s been set for two Teatime and time for tea and for my favorite; Vanilla ice-cream! Two friends Same soul Sit down Could it be? Lets take off our crowns To exchange them for future frowns And finally we shall dine together Finally we shall eat the fruit of our labour Two guests and four hosts But none of those ghastly old ghosts! But maybe a few memories you miss most? Perhaps a few memories you miss most? Just you. Just me. Just a few of those good old memories that have hurt us the most. (Lets give us a toast) Lets give us a Toast! Hoorah! Ching, ching! Who’s been broken the most!? |
||
| © Copyright 2006 DavidTheLion - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Pauline Junior Member
since 2006-05-15
Posts 28Island in the Sun... |
jeez...you don't say! hold on, i need to catch my breath..LOL that's alot of words for a single sitting..but i hope you managed to get all your feelings out? |
||
|
DavidTheLion Junior Member
since 2006-04-06
Posts 36 |
Hmmm...hehe, no, not quite...I feel this particular subject caught a lot of garbage and emotions for a good chunk of time that it will surely take many more to get it all out! Doh...! |
||
|
Fabiani Member
since 2006-05-12
Posts 123Mesa, Az |
its long but worth it i enjoied it alot it going in my libary ^_^~ |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
