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Skippyrick
Member

since 2006-05-16

Posts 150
Rohnert Park

0 posted 2006-05-16 10:44 PM

All fair in love and poetry. What think?

POLITICS AND CHEWING GUM

Sit with me here today
We’ll talk politics and chewing gum
YES let’s do lunch
Let’s make plans to rule the world
A hippie runs for president
YES I inhale
I breathe, I eat and dream
In colors unreal
YES same as you
Music moves my soul to tears
Give me hip-hop give me blues
YES I enjoy jazz
Smooth jazz OOO la la
What fun we had this afternoon
YES a movie does sound good
What’s playing at the multi pex
Thirty-six pictures to choose
YES I remember
Star wars on the big screen
Revolutionary sound and effects
YES it cost less
So did milk and soup de-jour
The bus was less
YES so was gas
We were a little younger then
Had other interest other friends
YES you're different
You are like a good book worth reading again
Like moving morning fog
YES your one of a kind
Really you are quite special
I like the way you smile
YES let’s just skip the movie this time
Sit with me and witness life
We’ll talk politics and chewing gum
YES let’s do lunch again real soon

kadafi09
Member

since 2003-06-17

Posts 143
California, United States

1 posted 2006-05-20 01:11 PM

love this piece, it feels fresh and brand new like hanging out with friends after class and such. the format is excellent i think, it really adds to the overall enjoyability of the poem. i really liked reading this. please write more of these.

the sun setting over turlock,
where we hustle for change/
the converted remain/
loyal to the drug dealers

Skippyrick
Member

since 2006-05-16

Posts 150
Rohnert Park

2 posted 2006-05-21 10:28 AM

Thanks!

It was fun to write. It is an interesting idea to write more poems like this. A whole set of conversational poems. I'll try that but who knows it does not always go that way

Thanks again
Rick

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

3 posted 2006-05-21 08:44 PM

what a wonderful scene
you've set the table nicely
and served a delightful plateful

sandgrain
Member Elite

since 1999-09-21

Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA

4 posted 2006-06-06 11:13 PM

Looked for others after seeing one in Spiritual.  This is super.  Reminds me of that old song, "I've got a Brand New Pair of Roller Skates".  Haven't we all settled the world affairs discussing politics for an hour?

  God bless

     Rae

Skippyrick
Member

since 2006-05-16

Posts 150
Rohnert Park

5 posted 2006-06-07 05:56 PM

So true. Had'nt thought of that song in along time. I'm glad you liked it.

Rcik

Beau de L'air
Member

since 2006-08-03

Posts 105
Middlesex, England

6 posted 2006-08-07 03:46 AM

The best line is

"So did milk and soup de jour"

The second best line is

"Like moving morning fog"

The rest isn't really poetry as such, I don’t think, although it is looking like poetry of the shopping list sort.. But you know I wish I had written those two lines so I wouldn't have to steal them. 2 lines is OK really. Keep them safe.

"SOUP DE JOUR"!!!!!WHERE DO YOU GET THIS STUFF????????

Skippyrick
Member

since 2006-05-16

Posts 150
Rohnert Park

7 posted 2006-08-07 02:37 PM

hay Thanks for going back and looking over some of my poems.

the was for lunch

Rick

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

8 posted 2006-08-09 10:00 PM

wow that was awesome it nade sense and really got to me....thanks for sharing
Krysti*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

beautyincalvary
Member

since 2006-07-13

Posts 98

9 posted 2006-08-11 05:35 PM

I Really Like This.

There is something so natural, relaxing, and comforting about it.

warmhrt
Senior Member

since 1999-12-18

Posts 1563

10 posted 2006-08-16 08:22 PM

rick,

I truly enjoyed this poem...and I do think it is poetry - random thoughts connected in a pattern. As someone else commented, it has a very friendly, casual feel...very welcoming. Nice read.

Kris

P.S. I think it could use a bit of punctuation within the lines to help it along.

"It is wisdom to know others;
It is enlightenment to know one's self" - Lao Tzu

Skippyrick
Member

since 2006-05-16

Posts 150
Rohnert Park

11 posted 2006-08-17 11:29 AM

Thank you for your kind words. Everyone has been a great help to me. Many changes have been made due to the comments I have gotten.

You say more puncuation. What and were would you add someting. I found one place that could use a comma but that was about it.

MMMMMM

Rick

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