Critical Analysis #2 |
My Prince |
longte Member
since 2005-04-06
Posts 199Australia |
MY PRINCE Is it now our time to die, my prince and do you wonder why For we who were the lords of all have crumbled, thus in crumbling fall into the clutches of cold death to fight yet still dead none the less Battlements are silent now but in their silence, still somehow endings reach with sharpened claws broken promises yield gore Peasants will soon rule our land nobility can’t understand why craven creatures such as them intrude upon a world of men So the silence of the grave waits for we who were so brave as children when we went to fight believing what we did was right Now as greybeards fading fast ghouls have gathered; dark repasts of blood and feasting, wait for them rejoicing far beyond our ken For we fought for our beliefs now we fall as autumn leaves Desiccated in the wind It’s as though we sometime sinned against the one who put us here to fight and die and show no fear So up my prince; grasp your sword we go to die; but hear my words What we did was right for us don’t think our ending too unjust for we lived by sharpened blade Forever will the stories laid in blood be there reminding all In blood we lived, in blood we fall ... .. . Why now hesitate my prince we were heroes once and since as heroes we would welcome death can we now do none the less than fight the fight and surely die The ravens cawing in the sky harbingers of blood and gore are not the swans we once saw gliding on the moat so clean That bloody swamp is now a dream A nightmare fantasy that burns acidic as we face the turns of the wheel we thought was life so callous with its endless strife Enforced upon our lives with glee Twas no peace for you nor me In fact our lives in many ways were just precursors for this day Come old friend Come welcome this The mystery of deaths sweet kiss .. . .. New style/direction I am playing with I feel I got most of it to flow fairly well The placing of pauses and ability to force stress points etc is so far beyond me Any guidance greatly appreciated There are a series of dots before the last couple of verses Not sure if I should have finished it there?? .. . Live It |
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© Copyright 2006 P.Nicholson - All Rights Reserved | |||
kadafi09 Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 143California, United States |
sorry I'm not very qualified to offer any substantive criticism of your poem, but just to offer some praise, I think the poem delivered its intended theme effectively and it flows really well. good work in my opinion the sun setting over turlock, |
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longte Member
since 2005-04-06
Posts 199Australia |
Thanks for the reply Its hard to get feedback here sometimes even in this section Would be great for someone to rip it to pieces and explain why Thats the best way for me to continue learning Have FUN Peter Live It |
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