when I met my husband - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Critical Analysis #2

when I met my husband

sympl_gurl
Junior Member

since 2006-03-31

Posts 13
Texas

0 posted 2006-04-06 11:44 AM

oops

[This message has been edited by sympl_gurl (04-08-2006 01:46 PM).]

Essorant
Member Elite

since 2002-08-10

Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada

1 posted 2006-04-07 12:56 PM

I didn't find much poetic depth in this.

All you have are some words, a rhyme and a period. There isn't any special focus or structure. Indeed the words don't even grammatically make a sentence without a verb. The title also needs capitals. Overall, the lack of grammar and poetic structure makes it read as if it were written without taking much time or critical care. I recommend opening up more about what made these things special. Give it some detail, depth and structure. Poetry, as other artful manners of writing or speaking, is much more than just thought and words. It is a special tradition and structure, with grace and insight. But what you wrote above lacks in all of those.

DavidTheLion
Junior Member

since 2006-04-06

Posts 36

2 posted 2006-04-10 05:25 PM

I disagree...I think sometimes I word is enough to express exactly what we want to say...

hmmmm.

MsSouthernOrchid
Member

since 2003-07-12

Posts 192

3 posted 2006-04-15 12:01 PM

? Am I missing something here?

Skippyrick
Member

since 2006-05-16

Posts 150
Rohnert Park

4 posted 2006-06-06 12:22 PM

hi:

Nice word!!! great title. But what I want is more. It is still around, fat or dead?

Rick

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.