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Critical Analysis #2
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petemiz
New Member
since 2006-03-19
Posts 8


0 posted 2006-03-20 07:40 AM



Would You?
If you could change one thing
What would it be?
Take time to think
Please choose carefully.

Would you attempt to try
To take back one lie?
Take back one time
You made someone cry?

Take back one day
Your heart went astray?
Take back one day
That was taken away?

Would you take back one year?
If it meant one less tear?
Would you take back one moment
You were silenced in fear?

Would you take back one fight?
For one sleepless night?
Would you take back one instance
You knew you were right?

Would you take back one word?
Replace one verb?
If it made someone understand
Just how much you care
That you’d always be there
That their name is not written in sand.

Would you take back today
For a better tomorrow?
Would you give back one blessing
If it ended your sorrow?

Would it change your future?
If you could change your past
Would you live in one moment?
If a moment could last.

I don’t know the answers
Please tell me how
You could take yesterday
And turn it to now

I wrote this awhile ago..be kind

© Copyright 2006 petemiz - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-03-20 08:58 AM


Umm... i'm not very good at critiquing.
I really liked your poem though!
I like how in the first stanza you ask what someone would take back, and than in the rest of them suggest all sorts of things... It's a really interesting poem.

Thanks for sharing

@-->---

BROTHER JOHN
Member
since 2006-04-06
Posts 386

2 posted 2006-04-07 12:43 PM


Dear Petemiz,

This poem critiques us more than we it.  Thanks.

MsSouthernOrchid
Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 192

3 posted 2006-04-15 11:35 AM


It certainly makes one think. Thanks for sharing.
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