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A home without a wall, |
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| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Today |
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Jack Straw Member
since 2006-03-02
Posts 70 |
Today I look up at the morning sky, Wondering why, But also how Was it the 1980s? The fast paced lifestyle. Everyone now wants the bigger better deal. Was it the government leaders? Republicans aplenty in congress Affluent kings of the free world Scandals now exposed Bills ever opposed Change will never come No change will never come for the U.S.A. Addicted to money, possessions, and oil we stay Always preoccupied with trivial ways Under this nation of today We house conservatist static It’s too hard to combat it Inside the machine of today Inside this capitalist machine of today But I will say: “make way! fore I am sick of today” When you hear this simple phrase Set your old ideas ablaze Open your hearts Read a book on Marx And repeat after me: To eliminate greed that is the need you don’t need greed to succeed. Look to your fellow man and understand that we all share this land. There are no possessions learn this lesson. If we’d all work together the world will be better. Let’s forge a new community. Let’s forge a better, simpler community. Today. It’s underway. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Jack Straw - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Is this a poem or a political statement? As either, I think it fails. First off, I can't really find any poetic content so that doesn't work, IMO. As for a political statement, it would seem to propose Marxism as the answer to all the world's problems whereas Marxism has miserably failed in virtually every tried instance. Sorry for the negativity but this needs a lot of work to be useful poetry. |
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Jack Straw Member
since 2006-03-02
Posts 70 |
I dont mind the negativity in fact I appreciate it. This poem is and isn't about Marxism. I don't mean to express the notion that it will solve the world's problems because it won't as we have seen in the past with poor nations in trouble. What I wanted to accomplish with the poem is get the message out that communal ideas can work if you allow them to. I wanted to establish my view of the U.S. as a nation lost in it's own greed and material vision. I wanted to ask others should they feel the same way I do to not sit by and feel trapped in capitalism but should I start a commune (outside of the U.S.) to come join and perhaps through understanding and education we could establish a small version of a communist utopia in one of the nations of today. Anyway thanks for the criticism I really do appreciate it. All my leftist friends loved this poem I'm glad I got an outside opinion. P.S. check out my poems Worry not and A night with my mind. They're not about communism/socialism/politics. If you find them interesting I'd love to hear your opinion (or analysis) in a Pm or reply. [This message has been edited by Jack Straw (03-05-2006 08:56 PM).] |
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BROTHER JOHN Member
since 2006-04-06
Posts 386 |
Dear Jack, I hear your frustration. Another paradigm is being born. It is far from communism and yet it speaks of interrelationships. Read on the revolution that is taking place in quatum science. It will blow our mind. |
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