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Critical Analysis #2

Awakening

warmhrt
Senior Member

since 1999-12-18

Posts 1563

0 posted 2006-02-07 12:25 PM

I've walked desolate, windswept beaches,
Roads leading to paths beneath dim tunnels of thick foliage,
Dark streets in towns with names I cannot recall,
Seeking the unusual, the curious,
Something that would stir my blood,
Elicit sparks brazen enough to scintillate,
In attempts to comprehend the irrational, the absurd.

Only with newfound eyes did I percieve the futility of it all-
That in the absence of light,
One cannot discern the obvious,
Much less the obscure.

"It is wisdom to know others;
It is enlightenment to know one's self" - Lao Tzu

[email protected]
Junior Member

since 2006-02-07

Posts 17
Los Angeles, CA

1 posted 2006-02-08 09:04 PM

I think your missing the second stanza in which you describe what made you wake up.

J.L. Humphres
Member

since 2000-01-03

Posts 201
Alabama

2 posted 2006-02-23 10:24 PM

Kris,
    Hello, it's been a while. I enjoyed this offering, it stopped mw and made me think. There is some mystery here, what was the awakening? Was it a religious experience, or an emergence from a deep depression. Perhaps you intended to leave that open to the readers interpretation. I found it to be insightful but felt it could have been narrative, it almost seems these are the thoughts of a character. Just a thought.
                         J

Jason
God is a warm whisper from the cool void.
Jack Kerouac

MUSEconnieSEconnie
Member

since 2006-02-28

Posts 74
california

3 posted 2006-02-28 07:59 PM

I AM NEW. YOURS IS THE FIRST I HAVE READ.
DISCLAIMER:
I AM BLIND SO I USE CAPS FOR
THAT REASON. IF IT IS ANNOYING,
I APOLOGIZE.
I AM NEW AT DOING REVIEWS.
FORGIVE ME IF I SOUND TOO
HARSH. THIS REVIEW IS ONLY
MY OPINION.
LOVE LIGHT LAUGHTER
MUSEconnieHUES

Only with newfound eyes did I percieve the futility of it all-
That in the absence of light,
One cannot discern the obvious,
Much less the obscure.

EXQUISITE. I THINK THIS POEM IS COMPLETE.
I AM A NEW FAN ALREADY.
LOVELIGHTLAUGHTER
MUSEconnieHUES

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